I may have mentioned in the past that this pregnancy has not been nearly as gentle on my poor body as my previous ones have been. I can blame it on the fact that I'm carrying a boy this time, or I can blame it on myself, for doing this three times in four years. Whatever takes the blame, it has presented me with an "opportunity" I didn't have with either of the girls. Short Term Disability.
Because of the pain issues I'm having with my pelvis, the doctor has given me the all clear to be put off of work on STD. The pain is only getting worse, and will continue to get worse throughout the rest of the pregnancy. There are days when I cannot walk, and sleeping comfortably (or without pain, even) has become nearly impossible. I spend many nights propped up on the couch, hot water bottle between my legs, hoping to get enough sleep that I can function through the day at work. At work, I cannot lift my left leg more than a few inches off the ground, and I limp up and down the halls. Going up and down the stairs at work feels like a mini-marathon and I'm sweating and breathing hard by the time I reach the top. Carrying boxes and files are not doing me any favours. I'm not out of shape, my legs and pelvis just do not want to cooperate with me, and fight me with every single step that I take.
On the weekends, I spend most of my time sitting on my ass, trying to recooperate from the workweek. On the days where I feel decent, I end up overdoing it and spend the next two or three days paying for me eagerness.
When the doctor first mentioned putting me off work, my first instinct was to say no. I have too much work to do, my replacement isn't due until May (and that's for four weeks of training), and it's not that bad. I went back to the office and mentioned it to my staff supervisor and she pointed out the obvious. I'm not doing myself, or my family, any favours by sucking it up here at work. Continuing like this has meant that doing anything at home other than sitting on the couch is extremely painful and energy-sapping. Grocery shopping, bathing the girls, even making supper, all feel like tremendous chores. Perhaps, by taking the next 10 weeks off, I can get done all the little stuff at the house that needs to be done, without overdoing it, and while still maintaining enough strength and energy to spend actual quality time with the girls on the weekend and in the evenings!
So, after thinking long and hard, and dealing with a tremendous amount of guilt, it looks like I'll be finished at work on April 4, a full 8 weeks earlier than I expected to be! I'm still dealing with guilt and anxiety about the state I'm leaving my job (I'm obviously a terribly responsible person when it comes to my own workload) but I will not focus on that! Instead, I'm looking forward to the next 8 weeks!
The girls will stay in daycare during the day, but since I don't have to be out the door at 6:50, that means that they get to start sleeping in in the mornings. They'll go after they wake up on their own. Maybe I'll even feed them breakfast at home, or get Ella dressed. Usually their breakfast is packed and Ella goes to Nancy's in her jammies. That also means I get to sleep in. Probably until 7:00, which is so terribly exciting for me!! A full 8-10 weeks of sleeping in, with nowhere to be during the days. It sounds like heaven. I know it wont last, but I'll enjoy it while I can!
I'll get the house organized, slowly, but surely. When this baby boy arrives, not a toy will be out of place! Okay, everybody laugh with me now. But the girl clothes will be packed up and given away, the boy clothes will be washed and put away, the nursery will not be pink (that one's on Grampy though, not me!), the freezer will be stocked with pre-made food, and the bathroom will be clean, gosh darn it! It's not a huge to-do list, and surely tackling one thing a day will be doable.
I will nap every afternoon. I will drink tea again (and maybe, one of those cups will be hot each day!). I will think about scrapbooking or cross-stitching or learning to knit. I will not accomplish that, but I will think about it, and maybe even research, and promise myself (again) that I will have blankets knitted by Christmas time.
Basically, I'm going to enjoy my time off. I'm not going to overdo it, and I'm actually going to use this medical leave to do what I should... rest and get prepared for this baby. Because in 12 weeks, when this little boy joins us, Lord knows I will never nap again. I will never again have a clean bathroom, and the only pre-made food in the freezer will have been prepared by Swanson (although his fried chicken is delicious!).
So here's to wrapping up the next week and a half of work and officially starting my stay-at-home-motherdom. 12 weeks to go. The countdown is officially on!
No comments:
Post a Comment