Dreaming of a White Christmas...

Wow... it's been so long since I've found the time to sit down and write!  I guess Christmas will do that to you!  Every year I say I'm going to be more organized - buy gifts starting in January, have cards done by October, gifts in the mail by December 1 - and every year I'm caught off guard by just how unorganized I am!!  It always costs me more to mail gifts to Danny's family than it does to purchase them.  Next year, I'm shopping online... shipping's usually free!! :)

We arrived in Fredericton (well, technically Lincoln) on Monday to officially kick off our Christmas vacation.  We were supposed to come up Tuesday, but after checking the weather and seeing a ginormous snowstorm coming our way, we decided Sunday night to pack up and be on the road by morning.  That meant around 32 loads of laundry to be done in one day, house cleaned (cause who wants to come home to a disaster?) gifts packed, luggage packed, and all that good stuff!  It was a challenge... but I succeeded!  At 10:30 p.m. Sunday night, I called to Danny to pack up the car.  I was finished!! :)

It's 5 1/2 hours to get to Nanny and Grampy's.  We left at 7 in the morning on Monday.  We had a few stops to make, so by the time we actually got moving on the highway, it was close to 8:00.  We drove straight to Sackville (NB) and stopped for lunch, then carried on until we made it here... safe and sound, and before the snow hit!  Mission accomplished!  I've asked Danny before, "do you ever wish we didn't have kids?" and we both agree on the answer... only when we're driving!  By the time we do all the gas runs, potty stops, lunch breaks, and actual driving, it's an almost 8 hour voyage for us to get here.  And Gracie, God love her, never shuts up the whole way!!  My mom laughs, and says she's just like me.  But there was a big difference when I was a kid.  I didn't care if anybody was listening.  As long as you gave the occasional "uh-huh," or "yes," or "really!?" then I would just keep on talking.  Gracie isn't quite like that.  Gracie's too smart and realizes when you're trying to brush her off.  She expects a reply.  A real one.  Actually, what she expects is for you to repeat what she said, that way she knows you were reallllllllllly listening!  Here's an example:

Gracie:  "Mom, my sock came off.  I took my sock off.  Mom, I took my sock off.  My sock is off.  Mom.  Mommy.  I took my sock off.  Mom?  Mommy!  I took my sock off.  My sock is off.  Mommy.  Mom.  I took my sock off."

Me: "Gracie, did you take your sock off?"

Gracie:  "Yes."

Then 2 minutes of silence before she moves on to the next thing.  So there's no sitting up front, with one of us occasionally throwing out an "uh-huh."  You must be listening.  You must stop what you are talking about to acknowledge her.  You must repeat what she says.  AND, it must be the right person.  Once, Danny replied to her, saying "Yes, Gracie we hear you.  You took your sock off."  To which she replied, "No, daddy.  I'm talking to Mommy.  Mom, I took my sock off......"

Anyway, we made it here, and Tuesday and Wednesday brought us one whopper of a storm.  We lost power for most of the morning on Wednesday.  We went out sledding on the front yard, and Gracie loved it!  When we first went down the hill, I thought she was crying.  Turns out she was laughing so, so hard!  It was hilarious!  Here's a video of the first time she went down the hill by herself.  You'll have to excuse the heavy breathing by me... but carrying a 27-pound child up a hill half a dozen times is more exercise than I've gotten allll year!! :)

Before I go, I must tell you the latest Gracie-ism that took place while we were at supper a couple days ago.  Gracie needed to pee, so we trudged off to the bathroom.  The first stall was taken - "there is a person in there, mommy!" so we opted for stall #2.  While Gracie was doing her thang, the woman in stall #1 let out the loudest fart.  Gracie's mouth dropped open, and she said (very loudly, I may add) "Oh. My. God.  That was the biggest fart!!"  I tried so hard not to laugh, but the woman in stall #1, to her credit, did chuckle a little.  When I took Gracie off the potty, she bent right down to peek under the stall "who is in there mommy??"  I washed her hands, ushered her out, and laughed all the way back to our table!!  

So that's our adventure so far... here's hoping the snow doesn't completely melt away before Christmas.  We love us a white Christmas!  Stay tuned, I'm sure Gracie will find more ways to entertain and amuse us!! :)

Accidents Happen!

It's true... accidents happen!!  And that's how the story of Baby Ford #3 begins.  Just kidding!! :)

My sister was over this morning for our weekly coffee break, and Danny remembered an important lesson... always check behind you while backing out of a driveway.  

This is my sister's new car.  She got it... oh, about 3 weeks ago!   I doubt that she and her husband have christened this car, so Danny took care of it.  He banged her real good!  And let me tell you, it's gonna leave a mark to remember!  Well, at least until we get it to a repair shop to make her all shiny and new again.  Patricia, if you're reading this... let me just say, "Whoops!" (and sorry) on behalf of the Ford Family! :)

We were brought up with a sense of humour, and not to sweat the small stuff... so when Danny came back into the house to tell us what he had done, Patricia did pretty much what I expected her to do.  She said "meh, it's only a car, we'll get it fixed."  In fact, knowing Patricia, she probably apologized to Danny!  "Sorry, Danny... I shouldn't have left the car parked in the side of your driveway where it wasn't in anybody's way!!"  Danny, of course, felt horrible!  But what's done is done, and that's what insurance is for! :)

It's funny how it happens though... and this accident was pretty inevitable, really.  There have been a few times that I've been backing out, only to realize there was a car parked to the side of me.  It's just unfortunate that Danny was the first to not miss the car by mere milimetres.  It's also unfortunate this car was brand-spanking new.

I have done almost this exact same thing once... it was prom night, 2002.  My brother returned from the car wash, and his lovely Toyota Camry was so pretty, and shiny, and waxed up real nice!  He was dressed all purrty, and was just about ready to head out to pick up his date.  I was on my way to work in my beautiful Geo Metro and I backed up and heard that sound... *crunch*  Yup, drove right into the side of Leslie's newly-detailed car.  Whoops!! :)

Then there was the time that Leslie flipped that beautiful Geo Metro on an icy road.  After crawling out of the window of the upside-down car, and sludging through a snow drift to get himself onto the road to call my dad, I believe he said something along the lines of "dad, I forgot to turn the car off!!"

That same Geo Metro was also involved in a little scraper when I was driving down the north mountain in the pouring rain.  The road wasn't paved, and I got caught up in some loose dirt and a rain rut, spun the car around 3 times, knocked over a little tree, scratched the paint a little on the side, and ended up in the ditch.  We pushed her out, carried on our way, and I told my dad about it later that night.  Sorry, mom, we probably didn't feel the need to tell you about it then... but, on behalf of 19-year old me, "whoops!!"  :)

And in case that wasn't enough trauma for my poor little Geo Metro, my dad also wrote her off once after being hit by a gentleman in a snowstorm.  She was a tiny little car, but God, did I love her! :)

When I called to tell my mom and dad about the damage we inflicted on Patricia's car today, she told me a story about how she was rear-ended by a woman on a cell phone at a stop light.  They got out, surveyed the damage, realized there was nothing to really worry about, and carried on... only to have the same woman rear-end my mother again at the next stop light!

And there was the time that my mother was backing into a parking space at a church dinner, and smacked a tree with our station wagon.  She turned around in the seat, said "don't tell your dad," and proceeded to move to a different parking spot, only to hit a different tree!

And, not to pick on my mother, but she also hit our house once.  Not quite sure how you can miss a house in your review mirror, but she certainly didn't miss it with the car!! :)

My brother, in his brand new car, also pulled out in front of somebody once (whoops!) and had his car rear-ended and smashed in 2 days before moving to Ontario.

Patricia had a man back up at a street light, right down the side of her car.  Not quite sure why you would back up at a stop light, but I am quite sure he wont do it again!  She was also rear-ended by a lady at an intersection once, but she sent her on her way without getting any information after she realized there was no damage to her car... except that her bumper fell off once she got home.  

So needless to say... accidents happen (apparently, quite a lot in our family!)!  It's good to have a sense of humour about things!   Just carry on, and start your own collection of embarrassing car moments!  I'm sure my whole family is thrilled I shared all of their stories with you!! :)  Especially my mother, she loves it when I tell that tree story.  So just remember people... there's no point crying over scraped paint!!

Christmas Time is Here...

It's the most wonderful time of the year!  Danny and I both looooove Christmas, and we hope to pass that love onto our children.  We have already established certain traditions, and Christmas decorations are up no later than December 1.  This year we started early, since we are spending Christmas in Fredericton, and we wanted to be able to enjoy our decorations before we leave.

Yesterday was December 1, and we brought home our tree.  It is the biggest, fattest tree we've bought yet... and we've had some pretty big trees!  I don't know how we're going to beat this one next year... but we'll try!! :)

Here she is... hard to capture her largeness!

While the girls were napping today, Danny and I decorated it... she's a beauty! :)

First go the lights...

Then the ribbon!

Bulbs are next!

Star on top...

All finished!! :)

So there's the tree... Gracie likes it, and Ella loooves it!  She just stares at the light... it's so cute!

Gracie kinda sorta understands Christmas.  We have our very own "Elf on the Shelf," and she knows he flies back to the North Pole every night to report to Santa.  We've also told Gracie that the only way Santa brings toys is if you leave some for him to take with him.  She's already picked out 3 toys to give away... they're all Ella's! :)

I think Gracie's favourite part of Christmas is the Advent Calendar... she gets to eat an entire chocolate every single day for 24 days!!  She gets quite excited at supper time, cause she knows it's almost "add-int cow-a-der" time!

The one downside to this time of year is the never-ending everything that goes on!  Shopping, decorating, wrapping, baking, visiting, card-making... all on top of regular every-day life.  This makes me exhausted... because I have apparently yet to return to my pre-pregnancy energy.  This will be the first time in 2 years that I haven't been pregnant at Christmas, but yeesh, I'm so tired, you'd never know it!! :)

And there... my brain just shut off!  Guess that's enough for now!! :)

A little funk...

Being a parent is wonderful blessing... it makes you smile every single day and there is never a bad moment!  HAHAHAHA  Okay, now that we've all had a good laugh, it's time to discuss the parenting funk we all get in every now and then.

How can you love a little person so much... and yet imagine yourself flushing them down the toilet when they act up??  I would call and ask my parents how they dealt with me, but let's be honest... I was a pretty fantastic kid, and they probably wouldn't have any advice for me! :) 

Gracie has started her grunting again.  If you're new here, and haven't had the pleasure of reading about Gracie's grunting, you can find it here!  She outgrew the grunting when she learned better ways to express herself... but apparently it's back with a vengeance!  Except now we get the grunt, the attitude, and the words to go along with it.  For example... "Gracie, finish your supper please!"  "No, mommy!!  Shush!" - Hits the table - "Errrrrrngh!"  And that's when I want to pick her up, stuff her in the toilet, and flush.  We're often on Skype with my parents when these little episodes occur... and they laugh.  Well, my dad laughs.  My mom doesn't really know how to laugh.  Her eyes close, she leans backwards like she might fall out of her chair, her whole body shakes, and she makes noises out of her nose (kinda like a snort, but also like a wheeze), but no real laugh comes out of her mouth.  Obviously (like I stated before), they find it entertaining because they've never seen this kind of attitude before!

I don't know if it's the fact that I've stopped breastfeeding, the fact that I've started back on birth control (for the first time in 3 years), or whether I'm pregnant again (JOKE!!), but I must say, my hormones are all wacky these last couple of weeks!  I'm cranky, and teary-eyed, and just feel in a funk!  I'm laughing at Gracie one minute, and swearing I'm not having any more kids the next minute.  My patience to deal with the little people has been in short supply lately. 

Danny has been off on parental leave, so I've been able to pass Gracie and her attitude off to him when I'm having an especially hard day.  I feel for the stay-at-home moms who never get the break they need!  Like I said before, being a parent is a wonderful blessing, but my lord children can be exhausting!  99% of the time we smile and patiently say all the right things when our children are acting like little hellions, but for those of us without back-up for the other 1% of the time... well, let's just say I can fully understand why 2-year-olds happen to know so many curse words! :)

My wonderful hubby has noticed the little funk I've been in the last couple of weeks... so the other day when the girls were napping (including me), he ran to the store and brought me home a little treat!

Some lovely flowers!! But the best part (because he knows me soooo well) was the fact that the flowers were accompanied by Jalapeno Poppers and sour cream & onion Pringles!  Nothing gets me out of a funk faster than cheese-filled peppers and chips!!  :)

I feel much better now... apparently it wasn't my hormones out of whack, it was junk food depletion!  I wont be letting that happen again!! :)

Sleeping like a husband!

Sleep is a luxury.  It's probably one of many things that people without kids take for granted.  And by people without kids, I mean husbands.  I'm fairly sure that people without kids realize that their sleep will be affected by kids and babies... and yet somehow, most dads didn't get the message! :)

I warned Danny that this blog was coming... his response was, "Go ahead, I'll start my own blog and tell the real truth."  I'd believe him... except he sleeps too much to keep up with it! :)

I should be fair and tell the whole truth... I'm a morning person.  Danny isn't.  So it was never an obligation of Danny's to have to get up with the kids.  It was always just sort of agreed that we don't need two sleepy parents, so he shouldn't have to get up with them.  Except that things have changed slightly from my perspective with the addition of Ella...

Gracie was a phenomenal sleeper.  She slept until 8 or 9 most mornings from the very beginning.  Ella does too... except she still gets up around 5:30 a.m. to eat.  The problem with 5:30, is that by the time I get back to bed and start falling asleep, it's 7:00, and that's when Gracie wakes up.  So I've started staying up after feeding Ella.  That means most of the time, my days begin around 5:15 or 5:30.

It's only been the last month or so that our original arrangement has started causing me some... issues. And by issues, I mean bitterness, anger, and hatred towards my husband.  Of course all of those emotions are dripping with love... and I mostly laugh while I feel them!  So it's not 100% bitterness, just a tiny little dose.

We were at my cousin's house this weekend for a bonfire, and she recently had a baby as well.  Her husband is now off on parental leave (as is Danny) and Danny asked him how it was going.  He said he gets up most mornings at 6:00 because that's when the kids get up, and my cousin sleeps in until around 8.  Danny thought that was hilarious!!

I think all of the aggression towards his sleeping started about a month ago, when I started to sleep train Ella.  I was letting her "cry it out" in the middle of the night and just getting up in the morning to feed her.  After the second night of the crying, I said to Danny in the morning "did you hear how long and how many times she cried?  I hope it didn't keep you up."  I actually felt bad.  And then the little bugger said, "no, I didn't hear anything.  I put in earplugs."  Earplugs?  EARPLUGS?!?!  Something about that made me so mad.  I guess I felt that if he didn't have to get up, he could at least have the decency to be inconvenienced by the noise!  Nope, he wears earplugs to bed now.  So when Gracie is up at 7:00 and she's in a particularly heinous mood, and throws 15 temper tantrums before 7:30, and I'm on the verge of having a mental breakdown... Danny doesn't hear a thing.  Because he's wearing EARPLUGS!!

Most mornings Gracie and I come in and wake Danny up between 9 and 9:30.  He rarely comes out on his own.  The other morning, after I had been awake already for nearly 4 hours, we went to wake him up.  We sat on the bed and played for a few minutes, then he had the nerve to say to me:  "Sammy, can you take the girls out and just give me 5 minutes to myself to wake up?"  I stared at him.  I don't think I said anything... just stared at him!  Imagine, after nearly 4 hours with the bed to himself, he needed 5 minutes to himself!  

When he came out, we had a lengthy discussion about sleeping... It started with me saying that I realized that it was our arrangement that he sleep in while I get up with the girls.  But that was before my mornings began at 5:15, and I was probably getting a little burned out since I felt kind of bitter every time the lazy bugger crawled out of the bedroom at 9:30.  He agreed about the bitter part... apparently he had noticed! :)

I said, "I think I just need like one week where I can sleep in and you get up with the girls.  Just  like 5 days."

His response:  "5 days of getting up at 5:30??  That's crazy!!"  

I think the fact that my eyebrows raised into my hairline and my mouth opened so wide and yet no sound came out was probably the giveaway that he had said something stupid.  I started laughing, and said, "you think?!?!"  He laughed too, and when I asked him if he was laughing because of how crazy that sounded, he admitted that it was.  He knows how lucky he is!!  I think the next thing I said was, "I hate you... just so you know.  And I want to punch you in the face."  I told him, "oh buddy, I'm soooo going to write about this."  He laughed.  He knew how ridiculous he sounded.  He knew he was busted!!

I have to cut him a break though.  Danny's a phenomenal dad.  He really is!  And it was my idea for him to sleep.  I really do believe that it's pointless for him to be up and tired if I can handle the girls in the morning by myself.  But the female part of me also wants to blame him for something that isn't his fault.  It isn't his fault that I agreed to let him sleep in, then get mad when he does.  It isn't his fault that Gracie has mornings where I swear she is the spawn of Satan!   But that doesn't matter to the female part of me... the female part of me comes in to wake him up after a morning like that, sees him snuggled into bed all comfy and cozy, and wants to smother the poor bastard with a pillow for having the audacity to actually sleep like I told him to!  It isn't his fault when he comes out, and I sweetly ask, "how did you sleep babe?" that I want to kick him in the teeth when he says "really good, thanks!" because I think he should have at least had the compassion to have a crappy sleep if I had to deal with screaming children all morning!

Really though, our arrangement works 99% of the time.  Danny is lucky to have a wife that is a morning person and doesn't mind him sleeping in most of the time.  And he would totally get up at 5:30 this week if I really wanted him to feed Ella (even thought he really does think 5:30 is crazy!), and he would get up at 7:00 and deal with Gracie if I needed him to.  But I don't.  I just need to vent sometimes about how lucky he is.  I need to threaten him with bodily harm, tell him he's a lazy little bugger, and swear I'm going to murder him in his sleep sometimes.  He knows I'm joking... and if I wasn't, he would never hear me coming because of the earplugs! :)

Don't poop in there!

Before we begin, I have a confession to make... my daughters have seen me naked.  On numerous occasions.  For those of you who aren't parents and think this is weird... believe me, it is not!  In fact, I don't think I've gone to the bathroom alone since the day Gracie was born.  Okay, that's not exactly true, but I do have company more often than not when I need to go!  Getting changed alone is a luxury as well.  Not to mention showering.  It's so nice to have a shower all to yourself, instead of having a little person pulling back the curtain every 3 seconds to have a chat or to make sure you're not using "my shampooooo" as Gracie likes to call it (as if I'd want to walk around all day smelling like blueberry sherbet!).  As much as I could complain about the showering thing though, I'm sure it's worse for Danny... who has to answer the "what's that?" question when Gracie peeks in on him!  The fact that I'm also a breast-feeding mother also means that, inside my home, my breasts are exposed more often than they're covered!  Cause really, who has time to tie blankets to bra straps to make sure you're covered inside your own home!  So, needless to say, Gracie has seen her fair share of naked mommy.

We're in the midst of potty training Gracie.  We haven't had to clean a poopy diaper in weeks (yay!!), and when Gracie needs to go, she always yells, "potty poop, Mommy!"  or "potty poop, Daddy!"  and off we run for the bathroom.  When we were first teaching about potty-pooping, we used to say "we don't poop in our diapers anymore, we poop on the potty!" and everytime we would run to the bathroom and still have a clean diaper, Gracie would get some praise "Yay, Gracie! No poop in there!"

So all this nakedness and poop talk is quite common place in our house these days.  And it never even occurred to me to share it with strangers... until Gracie did it for me today!!

On Monday mornings, Gracie goes to swim lessons at the pool on base.  We usually get changed in the women's locker room, but I discovered that the family changing room is actually heated... so we change in there now.  When we got changed in the female change room, I would just wrap a towel around myself and get changed under it.  Since the family change room has mommies and daddies in there, they provide you with nice little changing rooms.  Today was a very busy day at the pool.  The change room was full of mommies and daddies and babies!  After Gracie's swim lessons were over, I changed her in the main part of the room, then took her to a change room to get myself changed (I didn't want to try the towel trick in front of other daddies!).  The change rooms are actually just shower stalls with an extra wall in them, and they are thisclose to the main room.  We went in and shut the door, and since it was just Gracie and I, I dropped the towel and my swimsuit!  Gracie laughed and yelled "mommy's naked!!!!" and I heard a few giggles from the main room.  I'm not quite sure what Gracie thought I was about to do next, but all of a sudden, in her biggest, loudest voice she yelled "NO MOMMY, NO!!  DON'T POOP IN HERE!!" All I could hear was laughing from the main room, and I have to admit, I was actually embarrassed!!  Not that any adult in their right mind would think I would go potty in the change stall, but still... I felt like I had to defend myself! So I had to say in a loud voice too, "don't worry Gracie, mommy's just getting changed," to which she replied, "Yes mommy.  Poop on the potty. Don't poop in here."  At least that time was a little quieter... but I felt like I had been scolded.  When I had my pants and sweater on, Gracie came over, rubbed my leg and said, "therrrrre, mommy," like I was a good little girl for not pooping on the floor.

I can just imagine the conversation Gracie had with her little friends when she got back to daycare.  I can picture her standing there, with the group gathered around her, "you wouldn't believe what my mommy was going to do today at the pool... but I stopped her!!"

This may be the first time that Gracie has embarrassed me in public... but I'm quite sure it wont be the last!  Eeep!!

A little bit of Gracie...

Gracie is one special little girl!  She's all grown up, with an attitude to prove it! :)

Our day just isn't complete without a little bit of attitude thrown our way by this little girl.  I should have realized this was coming when I wrote my first blog about Gracie's attitude... and she was barely 1 years old.  I remember thinking... "this is just a phase."  Nuh-uh!!  That attitude is bred right into her, and I think she gets it from her mama! :)

Gracie isn't all attitude, though... she's got a nice mix of sweet and gentle in there too.  She is the kindest sister I could ever imagine (other than mine of course, who never practiced karate on me, convinced me to fall backwards off the kitchen counter onto the floor after a promise to catch me, had to be told to "only hit with open hands, your fists will hurt them," or anything else like that!!), and is so sweet to Ella it makes me smile just thinking about it.

Every morning when she wakes up, I go into her room to get her out of bed.  Lately she's been waking up crying, but it doesn't matter because the minute I open that door, she jumps up, stands at the edge of the crib with her bear in one hand and her doll in the other and says "Morning mommy!" with the brightest, happiest voice!  I go over and ask her if she's ready to get up, and she says yes... but she can't get out of bed until you've kissed and hugged every single animal that she's leaving behind in her bed and she lines them  up or tucks them into the blanket.  As soon as I pick her up, she always asks, "I see my daddy, mommy?" and then "Is Ella sleeping, mommy?"  When it's time to wake Ella up in the morning, it's everything I can do to get her to whisper down the hall because she is so excited to finally be able to see her sister for the day.  She usually ends up so excited that she presses her face against the bars of the crib and she screams "Morning Ella! How you doin'?" before Ella's actually fully awake and scares the bejeezus right out of her! :)  One day, Ella will appreciate how sweet those morning wake up calls are!

Gracie has quite the vocabulary.  She knows lots of words (including a few *ahem* unsavoury ones!), and she uses them... all day.  The girl never stops talking, unless faced with people she doesn't know, in which case she will only stare at the floor and say "no" when they try to talk to her.  She picks up expressions from everywhere and everyone, and they quickly become part of her everyday vocabulary.  Her newest one is "aye aye aye," like a little Mexican! :)  She also likes "oh my, oh my" and "what's that noise?"

We are in the midst of potty training Gracie, and after having a fairly impressive poop in her diaper last week, she said to Danny, "Oh my, oh my!  Big one in there, daddy!  Aye, aye, aye!"

She's also very concerned about noises lately, and any unfamiliar noises will scare her.  We must hear at least 30 times a day, "What's that noise, mommy?"  "What's that noise, daddy?" and she usually ends up stopping dead wherever she is and covering her face with her hands.  I really hope this is a phase she outgrows, because most of the time I don't hear anything, and she gets so scared I'm half convinced she hears dead people talking to her... which really creeps me out! :)

The newest phrase she's picked is "mine."  As in, "mine toys mommy!"  She's usually not too nasty about it, she's just informing you that whatever you have in your hands actually belongs to her.  She doesn't mind sharing though!  She can get quite upset when you take things that  belong to her though. Every morning we come upstairs and when she sees that the table has been cleared off from the night before, she gets quite agitated:  "Where'd mine supper go mommy?"  I think this has more to do with her obsession with eating than with not wanting to share her things.  One thing she is quite possessive off is Ella.  Apparently when they discuss Ella at daycare, Gracie is sure to tell everyone "that's mine Ella!  Mine!"  And when we bring Ella with us to pick her up from daycare and all the kids gather around the carseat to have a look at her, Gracie comes over and puts one arm around the carseat and introduces her to everyone very proudly, "This is mine Ella.  How you doin' Ella?"  Oh, if only that would last! :)

When the attitude does come out, Danny is able to stop it pretty darn quick.  Me... not so much.  It's not that I don't do the exact same things Danny does... I just think his stern voice is much scarier than mine and gets her attention much quicker.  She tells me no a lot.  A LOT!!!  Actually, she yells it at me.  "NO, MOMMY!!" and because that's not an acceptable way to speak to your parents, we always correct her.  So the next time, she raises her voice 3 octaves and sings it, "No, mommy!!" as if using her "happy voice" will make it okay.  I try to not to laugh at her then, because at least she's trying! :)

Every night at  bedtime, Gracie has her pee on the potty, gets into her jammies, and we read a couple books.  Then she turns out the light, and we go to the window to say goodnight to everything outside "Goodnight cars.  Goodnight flowers.  Goodnight birds.  Goodnight grass.  Goodnight sun.  Goodnight doggies next door."  Then its hugs and kisses, and into bed she goes.  We line up the right amount of animals and dolls, throw on 2 blankets, and say goodnight.  When we get to the door, we have to stop, say "Goodnight Gracie.  Love you."  to which she responds, "Night Mommy. Uvv you. Muwaaaah.  Night Dadd.  Uvvv you.  Muwaaaaah.  Night Ella.  Uvv you.  Muwaaaah."  Then we go back upstairs to continue our night, but I always turn the baby monitor up to listen to her fall asleep... sometimes she just keeps repeating her goodnight message until she passes out cold, but most nights it's "twinkle, twinkle, twinkle star.  Ow I wonna what you arrrrre.  Uppa bovva word so hiiiiiigh.  Yika dima inna sky.  Twinkle, twinkle, twinkle star.  Ow I wonna what you arrrrre."

*Sigh*  I do love that little girl!! :)

A little bit of Ella...

Babies are pretty useless!  Now, I would just like to say that I have spoken to other mommies, and they tend to agree with me!  Between the day they're born and around, say, 2 or 3 months old, babies are useless!  They're cute to look at... but that's about it! They eat, they poop, they sleep, they cry.  Basically the first 2 to 3 months is just surviving.  After that is when things start to become fun, when having a baby is really worth it!

Ella is starting to get to that point now.  You smile at her, and she smiles back.  She laughs now.  She holds her own head up.  She talks and coos and carries on a conversation.  Of course I don't have a clue what she's saying, but she's still talking along with me!  I can put her in the exersaucer, and she'll play for hours (or 20 minutes, which is hours in baby time!).  When she gets in the tub now, she gets so excited and splashes all over the place.  She's just getting cute, plain and simple! :)

This little girl can talk too!  Holy moly... she will talk your ear off.  Her favourite time to talk is during dinner, or when changing her bum.  She loves to lay on the change table and talk and talk and talk!  Here she is, having a little chat with Aunt Tricia on Thanksgiving.  She was pretty tired by this time of the night, but she was still able to carry on quite the conversation!!

Ella is also a smiler!  Gracie smiled very early, and Ella did too... the difference is, Ella gives them away for free!! :)  Gracie used to make you work for her smiles.  And most of the time, while you were making faces or funny sounds, she would look at you with this very serious look on her face, as if to say "Come on puppet, is that all you have?  Entertain me!"  Ella is the total opposite!  All you have to do is look at her, and she smiles away!  I sometimes compare them to Garfield and Ottis.  I'll let you decide which one I think acts like the goofy puppy! :)  Even now, Gracie is quite serious!  She's not a fan of people she doesn't know!  It's not that she's shy, she's just very choosy about who she will speak to.  Ella is only young yet, but I can tell that her personality is going to be the complete opposite of Gracie's!  I'm looking forward to meeting Ella's personality in the near future.  It's hard to imagine your second child as anything but exactly like your first... before she was born, the only image I could conjure of her was Gracie as an infant!  And since Gracie's personality (and *ahem* attitude) is all I've ever known from my children, I'm looking forward to watching a new and different personality develop.




It's hard to believe that nearly 3 months have passed since Ella was born.  Every day is a new adventure with her, and it's exciting to watch her grow and develop and learn new things.  Time seems to pass faster each and every day, and I have a feeling things aren't going to slow down any time soon.  So while I can, I take tons of pictures, and record all the memories.  Because soon my little Ella will be big like Gracie, and Gracie will be... well, she'll be bigger too!  So as much as I'm glad that Ella is out of the "useless baby" stage, I do kind of wish that the world would spin just a little bit slower... 

Enough is Enough

Last week I wrote a little about being thankful... thankful for friends, for family, for people in our lives.  Today at church, my priest spoke a sermon about being thankful for things.  For being happy with what we have, instead of always wanting more.  

He asked us, "when is the last time you met somebody who was truly happy with what they had?"  And the truth is... I don't think I ever have!  It's true that I'm happy with what I have... but do I want more?  Absolutely!  There are days when the toys are all over the floor, and the boxes of children's clothes are piled 6 high, and the laundry baskets are overflowing, and I think "I need a bigger house."  There are days that I stand in my closet, staring at "nothing" and think "I need more clothes."  There are days that I stare in my freezer or cupboards, full of food, and think "there's nothing to eat."

There's always going to be more stuff that I want... and when does it stop?  When I get a bigger house, will I be satisfied?  If I can go on a clothes shopping spree, will that make me happy?  If I fill all of my cupboards and fridge with the freshest foods, will I be able to make dinner more often?

Danny and I said we wanted to raise our girls with respect.  We want them to respect people, but also things.  They should recognize that they are lucky to have the things that they do, that not everybody is able to have as much they do.  We always said we didn't want a house full of toys, and at Christmastime and at birthdays, they will have to donate old toys to make room for new ones.

This afternoon, Gracie found some money while she was playing in my closet.  By money, I mean 35 cents, but to her, it could have been a million dollars!  We went grocery shopping, and I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to show her the value of money.  She wanted a treat, and I told her treats cost money, so she would have to hand over her money if she wanted to take the treat home.  She thought really hard about it.  She really didn't want to give up her money.  But of course, in the end, the lure of a chocolate treat won out and she handed over her 35 cents.  Of course the little chocolate that she bought was more than 35 cents, but we'll save that lesson for when she can count! :)  The point is that she traded in her money for her treat, and she was happy.  She didn't need both. 

So if we expect our children to learn these lessons, why is it so hard for us, as adults, to be happy with what we have?  Maybe we all need the innocence of children, who think that a chocolate treat at the grocery store is the greatest thing in the world.  They see the chocolate in their hand, and don't even see the 300 other chocolate bars inches from their face.  When playing at home, Gracie can spend so long just laying on the floor, playing with her crayons and scrap paper.  She doesn't need toys that sing and dance and flash lights.  We can go outside and run around on the lawn for hours.  She doesn't need electric toy cars.  She can wear the same outfit 10 days in a row, and still look in the mirror like she does every day and say "I'm pretty, mommy."

Danny and I have spent so long talking about the things we want our children to learn from us, but I think sometimes the things we can learn from them mean so much more.  We need to just start paying attention, and try to soak up some of that innocence.  They are so happy with what they already have... somehow, in their little time in this world, they've already learned something that adults have such a hard time grasping, the greatest lesson... that enough really is enough!

So much to be thankful for!

Today is Thanksgiving... and I have tons to be thankful for!

This weekend, one of my oldest and bestest friends got married!  The weather was fantastic, the ceremony was amazing, and the bride was beyond beautiful!  I had the honour of standing with Leah as a bridesmaid, and there is no where else I would rather have been this weekend than sharing in her special day!  The wedding also gave me the opportunity to catch up with some friends I haven't seen since high school, and we had a fantastic time.  Watching how happy everybody was for Leah and Dave, and sharing in that happiness, makes me realize how lucky I am to have such great friends in my life!  True friends are always just a phone call away, even if those phone calls are far and few between, knowing that they will always be there for you, no matter what, no matter when, is pretty darn special!

My parents made the trip from Fredericton to Digby for the wedding weekend too.  I needed someone to watch the girls so I could be in the wedding, and Danny could come as well.  Driving all that way, just to babysit??  That's my parents!  They would do anything for Danny and I, and we are so grateful for everything they have done for us!!  Someday, we will be able to repay them for all of their troubles, for all of their generosity, for all of their selflessness.  Until then... we will give them the pleasure of caring for and spoiling their grandbabies! :)

Thanksgiving Dinner with the family.  Being away all weekend meant that
Colonel Sanders had to cook!! :)

My sister is also pretty awesome to me.  We forgot about finding someone to watch Charlie for us while we were all partying in Digby this weekend, and Patricia didn't hesitate to take her for the weekend.  I text her some mornings... "Come visit.  Bring tea."  And she always does!  Gracie adores her, and she's there to babysit when we need her.  I know that I don't have to worry about leaving my girls with her because she loves them like they're hers!

There's my husband as well, and I'm thankful for him every day.  He's really a very special guy, who doesn't hesitate to show how much he loves me and the girls!  Sometimes I take for granted how lucky I am, but then I see a dad who complains about having to stay home to "babysit" his own kids, or who rolls his eyes when his wife asks him to help bathe the kids... and that's all it takes to remind me of how amazing Danny is.  He doesn't think twice about helping out with the girls... not because he knows it's his job... but because he truly enjoys being a part of every aspect of their lives, the good, the bad, and then dirty!

And then of course, there's the girls.  Every single day with them is a gift, and I need to slow down sometimes and savour every moment!  Like this morning, when Gracie unrolled the toilet paper roll while sitting on the potty.  Instead of noticing the mess on the floor, I should be thankful at the success we're having with potty training.  Instead of being annoyed at the fact that Gracie talks alllll day, every day, without taking a single breath, I need to close my eyes and listen to the sound of her voice... thankful that she wants to talk to us, grateful that she's such a smart little girl who can make us laugh all the time with the things that come out of her mouth!  Instead of being frustrated when Ella is crying, I need to be thankful that she only cries when she's hungry, and not all day long like some parents have to endure.   I'm thankful watching my girls grow!   Seeing how strong Ella is getting every day... she can hold her head up without any help now, and sits up straight with us barely holding her hips.  Gracie is an amazing big sister, and helps out however she can with Ella.  When I go to get Ella up in the morning, Gracie has to follow behind me, yelling "Morning Ella" all the way.

Thanksgiving only comes once a year, but I think it's important to take a few moments every day and realize how lucky I am to have the life that I have, how lucky I am to have the friends that I have, and how luck I am to have the family that I have!

It's a busy house!

Things have been very busy in the Ford household lately!  It feels like we have officially turned into real parents... ones who are never home because we're taking our kids to all of their activities.  I have a calendar on my kitchen wall, and it has more activities on it than I ever thought would be possible with 2 kids under 2!    To be fair, it's not just their activities... mom and dad have made sure to keep their own activities up to stave off the craziness!  So throw in our stuff too, and planning an evening at home hardly seems possible anymore!

We signed Gracie up for swimming lessons.  This is her first real activity, and so far she loves it!  Our first day was Monday morning.  We dropped Ella off at the sitters and headed to the pool.  Gracie didn't even mind when I told her she couldn't stay at Nancy's, because she was so excited about swimming at the pool.  Have I ever mentioned that when Gracie speaks, she's kind of William Shatner about it? "Swim. At. The. Pool?"  It's really kind of funny, and cute too!  So we headed over to the pool, got on our swimsuits (because off course I had to be in the water with her... it's just not responsible to throw them in and see how they do!), and headed into the kiddy pool.  Apparently that's the warm one.  All the kids smiled... all the parents cringed.  That's not the temperature I would keep my bathtub!!  We started off by just pulling the kids around on their bellies, then their backs.  Then we got some floaty toys and they had to lay on their bellies and kick their way over to them.  Then we blew bubbles in the water.  Then all the kids got to stand on the edge of the pool and jump in.  This was Gracie's favourite part.  She laughed and laughed, and yelled "Again. Mommy. Again."  It was fun for me too... until like the 10th jump.  She may only weigh 25 pounds, but hefting that out of the water and up onto the side of the pool a couple dozen times showed me how far I need to go before I acquire true "mommy muscles!"  When it was time to go, Gracie was quite sad!  She really didn't want to get out of the pool.  She was even sadder when we reached the change room where they keep the temperature at -5 degrees with fans blowing.  That was one crying infant!!  But she can't wait to go back on Monday!

We've also started going to the library.  Gracie loves books.  Loooooves them!  We could read all day and she would never get bored.  She has most of her books memorized, and I was feeling like it was time to get her some new ones.  Did you know that kids books can cost upwards of $10.00 per book? For 6 or 7 pages?!?!  That's crazy!  It's a good thing I remembered this place where you can get all the free books you want, without the hassle of trying to find a place to store them in an already overcrowded house!  We went last Tuesday morning, and happened to wander in in the middle of story time.  There is a lovely woman who reads and sings to the kids.  Gracie didn't know quite what to make of her, but she seemed to enjoy herself, so now we go every week and she gets to bring home three exciting new stories every time! 

Another thing we've started doing is going to the gym.  Before I had Gracie, I went quite often.  Okay, so that's not completely true... but I did used to go every now and then!  I thought that would be impossible with two little kids, but we've started going most afternoons.  I put Ella in the strollers they have there and run the track and Danny takes Gracie in the gym and kicks or throws the balls around.  Sometimes they run with me too (with Gracie in the other stroller).  Ella is very cooperative throughout her gym time, and loves the wind blowing through her hair as I run around the track.  Gracie also enjoys it, but isn't a fan of what it does to mom and dad:  "Ewwww... sweaty daddy!!"  I'm starting Zumba again on Tuesday.  The last time I went, I was 37 weeks pregnant with Gracie.  I'm not going to lie... I'm not looking forward to going back.  Because I'm lazy! :)  But I know once I get there, I'll enjoy it again!  I'm taking my sister along for the ride... if I'm going to look ridiculous, I may as well have a partner! :)

Add in Dad's jujitsu classes and university courses, and my never-ending obligations with Sunday School, and we are one busy household!  All of it put together is enough to make me want to go crazy, but we have a little secret to keeping sane and keeping moving... our crazy, energetic children!  When we're tired, or cranky, or just in a funk, all it takes is one of Gracie's priceless outbursts (remember, "oh fuck, my shooooes!") or a new trick that Ella has learned (this week it's laughing!), and we're back to laughing and loving life!

I have to say, as crazy and hectic as our lives are... we've got it pretty damn good! :)

All the Single Ladies (and one married mother of two)

This weekend I was in Halifax to celebrate the upcoming nuptials of a very good friend of mine... Leah's stagette party.  Leah and I have been friends since elementary school.  She stood for me in my wedding, and I'm honoured to be standing for her as well.  With the wedding 3 weeks away, it was time to get our party on in Halifax!

Spending the night in Halifax meant two new things were going to happen.  I was going to be away from Ella overnight, and Danny was going to have to do a morning feed.  Danny and I have had an understanding from the very beginning... I don't do late nights, he doesn't do early mornings.  So while many of my other parent friends take turns with the through-the-night feeds, Danny has never had to get up.  I'm fantastic with little sleep... I jump up, do what needs to be done, get back to bed, and wake up at my normal time (mostly) perfectly happy.  Danny certainly wouldn't jump... he would do what needs to be done and get back to bed... but that's it! :)  And it's not that I've never left Gracie overnight... I have!  But Gracie has always slept straight through the night; 7:00-8:00 at least!  So there was no jumping for Danny to do.  Ella mostly sleeps until 5 am, but sometimes she throws me for a loop and decides she's hungry at 3 am instead... or 2:30, like she did Saturday night!  But Danny made it through perfectly fine (with the exception of hitting Ella's head off a door in the darkness), and I think the daddy-daughter time made them all really happy!

Back in the city, I arrived in time to watch Leah get all gussied up with a makeup appointment at the mall.  She asked not to look too "street walker-ish" and they did a fantastic job, because she looked amazing!  Leah headed over to Halifax with one of her other bridesmaids, Leanne, while the Maid of Honour (Angela), and I headed to the hotel suite we had booked to decorate and set up.  We met up a while later at an amazing restaurant called A Mano... oh. my. God!  I loooooove pasta.  That's all I have to say about that!

Before heading out to the bar we met up with the rest of Leah's friends at the suite, had some drinks, took some pictures, and played some games.  I'm pretty sure I was the only one who was married with children, because when I got a text from Danny that said "Gracie peed on the potty!" and I excitedly shared it out loud, I mostly got stares and half-smiles from Leah's friends! The looks didn't get any better when I got the second text a while later, "she did it again!!"  Oh how different life is when you have kids! :)

We had a table reserved at Taboo, a bar downtown, which included a private booth, a private server, and some free booze.  Apparently, all of the above were good things!  The booth made it easier to keep track of everyone, and who doesn't love a private server and free booze?  I was staying sober (breast milk and copious amounts of booze do not mix), but everyone else loved the Grey Goose Vodka that came with the booth.

After arriving at Taboo, we soon discovered that we weren't the only bridal party out the night.  Throughout the night we watched as seven other bridal parties arrived.  Of course, we were the best party there, and we hated the other brides on principal.  There were no fist fights, however Leanne was able to infiltrate one of the brides dance circles without being recognized as an enemy, so we totally won the dancing war!

By about 1:30 am, everyone was extremely sort of intoxicated, and we decided to call it a night.  We rounded up the troops, and made our way to the street (which involved rubbing your body against half a million strangers to get to the door! eeeew!), where we discovered it was pouring down rain.  Yay!  Angela had decided that her feet couldn't tolerate her shoes anymore, so while Leah and two others headed to the poutinerie to pick us up a late-night snack, I walked back to the hotel with Ang... who was now barefoot.  One of my favourite parts of the night was when we were walking past a very dishevelled homeless man who thought it was very important to notify Angela of how dirty the streets were, and perhaps she should put on some shoes.  It just seemed kind of ironic to me!

We enjoyed our poutine, crashed for the night in our beds (except for Angela's sister, who decided the floor was much comfier), and had a good night's sleep (ha).

There are quite a few stories I cannot share here (including some about underwear, puking, and high school rivals), but I can assure you that a good time was had by all.  We successfully celebrated the end of Leah's single-dom, and she is now prepared to enter into married life with the man of her dreams!

Congratulations lady!  I cannot wait for the big day... and I know there will be plenty more memories made!! :)

For Sale... one almost-two-year-old!

Gracie is almost two.  Those four words are probably all I need in this blog entry.  They say it all.  Gracie is almost two... which means we're heading straight towards that black hole known as "terrible twos."

Gracie has been far ahead in her language skills, so I guess I shouldn't be surprised that this phase is coming a little early too.  But please, sweet baby Jesus, somebody tell me that this phase isn't going to last a whole year!!  Because I may kill her.  Obviously I'm not serious about that... but I can see a whole series of not-so-stellar mommy moments coming in the near future!

One thing I've learned is that no matter how many times I picture myself being patient, loving, and caring when Gracie has meltdowns, what really ends up happening is that I end up acting like an almost-two-year-old!  That's right, I can stomp my feet, cross my arms, and screech just as well as Gracie can! I'm not proud of that, by the way, but any mother who tells you that they deal with their child with a nice, calm, patient voice is lying!!  Liar, liar, pants on fire!  Maybe they don't revert to acting like a child every time, but believe me... they have been stomping feet and crossing arms during some of their child's tantrums!  For me, it's around the 5th tantrum in a row.  I can be all calm and serene during the first four, but bring on that 5th tantrum, and daddy better be around to take over!

Don't get me wrong, Gracie is a sweet little girl.  She has the kindest heart!  But my goodness, that attitude!!!!  I dropped her off at daycare yesterday and said "have fun with her, Nancy, she's been yelling and screaming all morning!"  Then I smiled, waved, and drove away.  When I picked Gracie up that afternoon, Nancy told me that she had to put Gracie in time-out a few times because she wouldn't stop yelling and screaming.  Yup, that's my girl!  At least she's consistent when she's acting out, and it's not just for me!  

Here's Gracie at home last night, after screaming "nooooooooo" at me, throwing her baby on the floor, and then, for good measure, giving her baby a nice swift kick across the floor.  As soon as she did it, I gave her "that look," and she went over and sat in her time-out spot, turned around and said "time out mommy?"  Oh, you better believe it!!

As soon as she's done her time she gets up, comes over and gives me a kiss, says "sorry mommy" and acts like my perfect little angel again... for another few minutes, anyway!

Okay, so maybe I'm not ready to sell her just yet.  Her good moments still far outweigh her badness!  But since she's not quite two yet, and I'm sure the worst is still yet to come, keep an eye on those Kijiji ads... there may be one cute little two-year old for sale, real cheap!! :)

A Permanent Stellar Mommy Moment? Uh-oh!!

Gracie had her 18-month checkup a couple weeks ago at the doctor's office.  She got her last set of needles (until school, anyway), and barely made a peep!  She talked up a storm, and the doctor commented "well, she has all of her 200 words already!"  Apparently, by age two, children should know around 200 words.  I don't think we have to worry.  That little girl has a vocabulary to challenge mine!  She talks all the time, and picks up new words all over the place!  You rarely have to tell her what something is more than once, and she has it memorized.  In fact, in the last couple of weeks we have come to realize just how much she remembers... and how it was a good thing she left one word out of her doctor's office visit!

I think I already mentioned a little while ago about our first real experience with Gracie cursing.  It was on the boat coming home from Fogo Island.  She had taken her shoes off, and when I said to her, "Gracie, we don't take our shoes off in the car," she looked down at the floor where her shoes were and exclaimed "oh fuck, my shoooooes!"  Danny and I, of course, just stared at each other... and then burst out laughing.  We didn't correct her, because we didn't want to encourage her to use the word again.  Unfortunately, when you have a bright little girl like Gracie, there was no deleting that word from her vocabulary.  She knows the word, and she knows when to use it!

Every now and then Gracie will out with the word.  This weekend, we were driving home from my brother's wedding, and Gracie bit her tongue and let out with a "oh fuck. Fuuuck."  And she's used it many other times too.  

I have to take the blame for this one.  This is a complete stellar mommy moment.  I have a sailor's mouth.  I curse horribly.  Not in my professional world, but get me away from people where it's just Danny and I (and apparently my impressionable 1-year old) and I curse... a lot.  And apparently Gracie hears me, and learns from me.  *sigh*

I don't think there's any undoing this one... we just have to wait for her to replace the word with something else.  "Oh-no" would be nice, or even "holy moly."  Anything but that four-letter word.  I guess I better start watching my mouth around my children, or Ella's first word wont be mom or dad!!

Here is Gracie, at the wedding, embracing her role as flower girl (and before letting out the curse words!)

And what has Miss Ella been up to lately?  Well she is a smiling machine!  I cannot get over how easily she gives out her smiles, giggles, oohs, and ahhs!  Gracie was a very happy baby, but she was always very serious.  We really had to work to get smiles out of her!  But Ella... oh she is a beautiful, smiley baby!  And every time she flashes us one of those huge grins, it just lights me up inside!  I cannot wait until we start getting real belly laughs from her... it's going to be the most beautiful sound ever!  Here she is, flashing me a smile or two...

No Mommy Moments for Ella yet... whew!  But, I am happy to announce, my first recordable Stellar Daddy Moment (okay, not really happy, but you know what I mean)  This morning, Ella was enjoying some tummy time on the couch, supervised by daddy.  Well that little girl loves to boogie, and she boogied herself right off the edge of the couch.  Dad was sitting right beside her, and managed to catch her... with his foot!  Gave Ella and daddy quite the fright I think!  But I'm happy, because at least I know now that it's not always me putting my children's lives in peril, or teaching them all the wrong four-letter words.  Daddies have moments too!! :)

The Most Natural Thing...

Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world!  At least, that's what we're told by basically every breastfeeding advocate out there - doctors, nurses, other breastfeeding mothers, complete strangers.  And for some people, I'm sure it is!  But here's my opinion...

There is nothing natural about having a tiny little person suck on a part of my body that is, by nature, extremely sensitive, to the point where it cracks, bleeds, and blisters.  There is nothing natural about trying to grasp this flimsy little person by the head (without breaking its neck), positioning him or her into some sort of football hold, sliding them up, under, around, or behind clothing, all while trying to avoid exposing yourself to the general population.  There is nothing natural about spraying milk up your baby's nose, into your own belly button, or halfway across the room.  When having trouble breastfeeding, there is also nothing natural about hooking your boobs up to a mechanical device that pumps you dry (ask the cows, they'll tell you!!).

So... why do I do it?  Because it's good for my babies... and because I'm terribly stubborn.  I totally understand why some people automatically start formula feeding their babies.  Trust me!  With Gracie, the nurse came to visit me when she was 4 days old, took one look at my baby feeders and said, "Whoa.  You need to stop feeding for a while.  Try pumping for a few days to let those heal."  To be fair, that was all Gracie's fault... she had a terrible latch (which brings me to another point, shouldn't something so "natural" come, oh I don't know, naturally to these babies??).

After pumping for weeks, breastfeeding when possible, and spending countless hours with lactation consultants, nurses, and other mommy breastfeeders, we finally got the latch fixed.  Which means my problems should have been over! Except that I developed a lovely thrush infection (which Gracie was able to avoid because she was almost exclusively eating by bottle).  It took 2 different prescriptions, a liquid that turns your nipples purple, a couple of natural remedies, and six (SIX!!!!) weeks to cure it.  For those of you who don't know what a thrush infection feels like, it's basically like a hot coal poker being stabbed into your breast every time you feed your baby.  It's excruciatingly painful!  So after that, my problems should have been cured as well... except by then, I had been back to the doctor, who recommended a low-hormone birth control, which diminished my milk supply to the point that I had to start pumping every 2-3 hours (regardless of the fact that by now Gracie was eating every 5-6), which didn't work, by the way.  I cried almost every day for the first 3 weeks of Gracie's life, struggling to keep going, when everything in me was telling (screaming at me) me to stop.  Poor Danny spent more time trying to get me to stop crying than he did our infant child.

At around three months, I ended up having to supplement with formula.  I bawled the day it happened.  I emailed my public health nurse, begging her for more options so that I wouldn't have to expose my baby to the horrors of *gasp* formula!  I cried to Danny, telling him how much of a failure I was for not being able to do what was so "natural" well enough to feed my baby.  I cried a lot.  Because everything, and almost everyone, puts so much pressure on new moms to breastfeed exclusively.

They say breast is best.  Breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS.  Breastfeeding makes for a healthier immune system in babies.  Breastfeeding does this super thing, and that super thing.  And that's all true.  But what does a failure of a breastfeeding mom hear?  She hears:  Formula is worst.  Formula increases the risk of SIDS.  Formula wont keep your baby healthy.  Formula is this bad thing, and that bad thing.  I'm sure that all of that is extremely exaggerated granules of truth... but to a mother struggling, all of those things nag at you every time you feed your baby formula.

I had a lot of support in my struggles with breastfeeding.  If I didn't, I probably would have given in the first time a nipple cracked.  My support system were not the people telling me how horrible it would be to give up, they were not the annoying little voice in my head telling me how bad formula was.  They were 100% there for me, to help when I needed it, or to support me if I finally decided to give up.  They were fantastic!

Society in general now, I think, is the force behind all of this pressure on new moms.  I know how important it is to educate people on the importance of breastfeeding, on the benefits of it.  I know how important it is to have proper encouragement for new moms, and to increase our rate of breastfeeding mothers.  But as a new mother, and after having spoken to many other new moms, we all agreed on one thing... all of that "encouragement" and "education" from the general public made us feel like failures if we weren't able to do it.    I have actually had complete strangers ask me if I breastfeed, followed with "oh good, breast is best" when I said yes.  What would they have said to me if I said no.  And for that matter, what business is it of theirs what I feed my baby?  The people telling me to "just give up already, and give her formula" weren't helpful at all either!  I didn't want to give Gracie formula, I wanted to breastfeed! 

I find mothers and women can be some of the most judgemental and harshest critics of other mothers and women.  It seems many mothers seem to know what's best for themselves and others, and have an opinion about everything, regardless of each individuals' own personal experience.

I'm breastfeeding Ella as well.  It's going much better than with Gracie.  However, all of the trouble I had with Gracie led to a "diagnosis" of extreme sensitivity.  Basically, that means that no matter how good the latch or how perfect breastfeeding is going, I will always find breastfeeding extremely painful.  I extremely dislike breastfeeding.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think "forumla feeding would be so much easier."  But, as previously mentioned, I'm stubborn!  I refuse to give up.  If I made it through my Gracie experience, I'm sure as hell not giving up this time!  Breastmilk is best.   I am reducing her risk of SIDS.  I can feed her no matter where I am. I don't have to worry about heating up formula.  And (one of the biggest factors for us), breastfeeding is free.  However, for any moms out there struggling under the pressure from society to breastfeed, please don't be fooled by the "naturalness" of breastfeeding.  For many people, there is nothing natural about breastfeeding, and there is nothing un-natural about forumla feeding.

I know the pressure and guilt that comes with trying to do something that sometimes feels so un-natural!  Please, breastfeed for the right reasons... because it's what best for baby and you.

Back home, and getting back to normal...

Well it's been a couple of weeks since the last time I wrote anything... I guess being away has really thrown us all off our schedules!  Life after a new baby is always crazy, but throw in a 36-hour, 1700 km trip (each way!), and two weeks "vacation," and you realize that crazy doesn't even begin to describe it!

The trip itself was pretty good.  Danny's dad got married, and we got to see all kinds of family that we haven't seen since our own wedding 3 years ago!  Gracie loved the island, and got to experience all sorts of true "Newfoundland" things.  She had moose stew, turr (basically a seagull, if you ask me!), went cod fishing, and got to see a caribou!  And she loved almost every minute of it.  She wasn't quite herself for a few days, not only after travelling without sleep for two days, but after 100 loveable Newfies tried to pick her up, kiss her, hug her, and talk to her.  Gracie is a very outgoing little girl, except when she first meets someone.  She takes time to warm up to new people, and she was NOT impressed with all of the strangers.  By the end of the vacation, though, she was much better!

Now we're home and settling back into our routine.  Gracie is back to her normal self, mom is all caught up on her sleep, Ella is still pooping, eating, and sleeping, and dad is back to work.  It almost seems like we're starting our life as a family of 4 from scratch now.  This is the first that we've been alone, and Ella is a month old!  It's craaaazy!  

Ella is a fantastic baby.  She cries less than Gracie did, which seems impossible since Gracie rarely cried!  She doesn't sleep quite as well as Gracie, she does get up once through the night to eat (shocker, I know!), but all-in-all, I can't complain!  She has the same belly issues that Gracie had at night time, between 8 and 9. I call it "witching hour."  But since she's already a month old, she should be outgrowing that soon too!  Now if we can just get this sleep thing mastered, I will be living the perfect life!

I've officially started my role as stay-at-home-mom.  Before now, we've been on vacation.  Now that Danny is back to work, and it's just me and the girlies, I can officially adopt that title.  So far, I'm doing amazing (if I can say so).  On Friday, we baked a cake and iced it (from scratch!!), I have my menu for the week planned, the grocery shopping is done, and the house is still clean (even after being home for a full week).  I don't know how long that will last, check back next week! :)

Yesterday I took the girls to church, just me and them.  Ella slept through most of it, and Gracie has been going since she was 4 weeks old, so it was the same old business for her.  I was a little afraid to go myself, with two little girls, but it went so smoothly!  I've been going to the church since I moved here when I was 6, and I have been sitting in the exact same seat since that time too... second pew from the front!  Earlier this year they replaced the pews with chairs, and I felt a little sad... like I should be able to take my pew home with me!  After 20 years, I'm sure the pew was perfectly molded to my bottom!

Ella is growing so big!  We go for her one-month checkup on Thursday (and Gracie's 18-month needles, eeek!) and I'm excited to see how much she weighs!  She is a very strong little girl, and tries to hold her head up all the time.  She is also very smiley!  Every time Danny speaks to her, she breaks into the biggest grins, and I can usually get them out of her too!  It's so nice to have a second happy baby!  She's starting to coo too, and nothing is better than those first little sounds!  I've been looking back at Gracie's baby pictures so I can remember what milestones come when, and I'm so excited to watch Ella grow up.  I'm not one of those mothers that want her kids to stay little forever... I love watching all the new things they can do, I love watching them grow and develop.  I love them getting big, because for every milestone and new thing they learn, it means we've done something right! :)

Well... this blog was allll over the place!  I guess that's what happens when someone who talks all the time is quiet for 2 weeks!  Time to get my thoughts back on track, and get this writing under control! :)

Oh... what a trip!

On Friday morning, we got up bright and early and began our two-day trek to Newfoundland.  It was 36 hours before we arrived at our destination, and we learned a lot on our travels!  Let me share with you some of our new-found wisdom!

1.  Just because it is 5 am when you wake up the babies, it doesn't mean they will go back to sleep

We learned this very quickly... despite our efforts to keep Gracie in the dark and quiet, once we were in the car, she was wide awake!  She had a blanket, and her bear, and yet that little girl would not go back to sleep.  So we started her day 2 1/2 hours earlier than usual.  Not a great way to start a trip, in hindsight! :)

Gracie ready for the trip... crackers, blanket, pajamas, bear!

2.  Your eagerness to hear that first word way back when... you will learn to hate it!

I never thought hearing a word would send shivers down my spine as much as the word "mommy" did by the end of hour 3.  One year ago, I remember hearing that word and thinking, "I love it, it will never get old."  Little did I know that hearing the word over and over and over again over the course of a 2-day trip would make me want to deafen myself with screwdrivers.  I know that sounds dramatic, and those of you who have yet to travel with a toddler (who cannot be reasoned with, by the way), will probably think I'm horrible for saying that.  But please... take my word for it.  Nobody will still love that word after hearing it like we did for two days.  Ever seen that episode of Family guy?  Here it is, for your viewing pleasure... and trust me, it's EXACTLY like this... that look on Lois' face, totally me! :)

3.  Learn the lyrics to as many different songs as possible... BEFORE leaving on the trip!

You know what word I hate more than "mommy"?  That would be "siiiiing."  Gracie loves to sing.  And by sing, I mean listen to other people sing!  And she gets very demanding when it comes to singing.  She demands it over breakfast, while you're putting on her shoes, while you're sitting on the couch, and, apparently, while you're driving to Newfoundland.  It was a good way to keep her quiet at first (and to stop all the "mommy"s).  Except that after an hour of singing the same 4 songs over and over again, I got tired and didn't want to do it anymore.  And she didn't like that!  She is also very particular about her songs... she knows what she wants to hear and when you start to sing something she doesn't like she cuts you off with a very firm "Nooooo!"  We sang Old MacDonald half a million times, along with Skinamarinky Doo, This Old Man, and our very own made-up song, "Gracie is a cranky butt," which she loves by the way.  When we sing it now, we stop at cranky, and she happily chimes in with "butt!"

4.  You cannot reason with a toddler

I think I already mentioned this a little... and it seems like common sense.  I mean, I already knew this before we left, but I was reminded very quickly halfway through day 2 when Gracie dropped her baby on the floor and I couldn't reach it for her.  She wanted it.  And she wanted it right now.  So no matter how many times I tried to explain to her that mommy couldn't reach her baby and she would get it at the next stop, Gracie just screamed and cried.  And of course, that made mommy explain it even louder, and with a little less patience. And soon, we were both very unhappy and on the verge of tears.  Which leads me to the next lesson...

5.  Tantrums can be thrown by anybody

I'm not gonna lie... I had some not-so-stellar mommy moments during the trip.  For the most part, Danny and I were both very patient and we were well prepared to handle the crankiest of children.  But any mother can, and will, breakdown after 24 hours without more than an hour or two of sleep and a screaming child in the back seat of a car.  At the beginning of day two, I even calmly explained to Danny that Gracie was terribly sleep deprived, having not napped at all the day before and going to bed super late, and that we would have to be extra patient since it wouldn't be her fault if she couldn't control herself.  I explained that all to him, and yet, after a meltdown of ginormous proportions by Gracie 5 minutes outside of Deer Lake, mommy threw her own tantrum in answer to Gracie's.  It wasn't pretty.  I wasn't proud.  And when we stopped the car, Danny took Gracie out, got her some snacks, and let mommy have a good 2-minute cry in the front seat.   Tantrums will happen.  And you will be surprised when you're the one throwing them.

Gracie in Deer Lake with the "misssss"

6.  Poop Happens

Duh.  Two kids in diapers, and poop is bound to happen.  But of all the days for poop, our two lovely children decided to pick the days when travelling in a cooped up space and on a ferry full of people.  They were poonamis.  Like tsunami... except with poop.  We went threw all the spare outfits I had packed in the diaper bag for Ella, and she spent day 2 in nothing but her diaper.  Gracie also decided to fill her shorts a few times... and I'd like to thank Grampy Fillmore for the wonderful idea of filling her full of corn on the cob the day before we left :)

7.  Nap time does not exist whilst on vacation

Not for babies, not for mommies, and not for daddies.  Ella was the exception.  She slept basically the entire trip.  Gracie would not sleep.  In fact, she screamed for 45 minutes on the boat while we tried to get her comfortable enough to fall asleep.  Yep, we were those passengers... the ones with the screaming kid.  And I was only slightly embarrassed... mostly because I was too tired to care.  Mommy didn't get her nap either.  Halfway through day 2 though, Gracie fell asleep.  Let me tell you that "bliss" does not even begin to describe how we felt in that hour when the car was silent and Danny and I could have a whole uninterrupted conversation. :)  I thought she would feel better when she woke up... nope!  Apparently, catching up on an hour's sleep when you are 7 hours behind just makes you crankier! :)

Well... that's all I can think of right now.  Mostly because I have yet to catch up on my sleep and my brain is still a little fuzzy.  I'm sure there were more lessons, and I'm sure we'll learn even more on the drive home.  But for now, Gracie is in bed, Ella is spending time with Nan and Pop Ford, and mommy is going to bed early to catch up on some sleep! :)