You know, I try not to let internet stories and internet trolls get the best of me. I try really hard to respect other people's opinions and mind my own damn business. But there have been a couple of stories in the news lately that just totally blew my mind. Not even necessarily the stories themselves, because we are so used to seeing ignorance in the news, but some of the comments and sub-stories posted about the stories. Ridiculous.
First of all, let me say that I seriously hope by the time my kids are grown, they will look at my generation's (and past generations') treatment of the LGBTQ community the same way I look at previous generations' treatment of African Americans and women... with absolute disgust. Because it is absolutely disgusting the way those people have been treated in the past, and it's disgusting the way LGBTQ people are being treated now. Sure, we've come a long way in making society an open and welcoming place, but it apparently takes many generations to breed out all of the ignorance and intolerance.
For those of you who haven't heard of Kim Davis, you should seriously google her name. There's all sorts of crap out there about her and her claim to fame: basically, that once same-sex marriage was legalized in the states, that she refused to issue any marriage licences (to gay or straight couples) because she believed that doing so was counter to her religious beliefs about gay people. I get that... sort of. You don't believe that gay marriage is righteous and, in fact, believe it to be wrong. Fine. Don't marry a gay person. You don't want to issue marriage licences to gay people? Fine. Quit your damn job, and carry on with your life. You are entitled to your opinions, and whether I agree with you or not is not the point. But your opinions should not interfere with the lives of other people trying to live their own damn lives. "Christians" such as Kim Davis give other Christians a horrible name. I think the majority of us Jesus-loving folk out there believe that who a person loves means nothing, but how a person treats other people means everything. And in my opinion, Kim Davis, you're kind of a douchebag. You can believe whatever you want to believe and harm no one. Be as blind as you want to the wonderfully diverse and beautiful world we all share, you will hurt no one but yourself in this manner. But you don't have the right to force your views on others, to try to blind them in the same way. As a (now amazingly popular) twitter user, Rachel Held Evans, said: "No one's being jailed for practicing her religion. Someone's being jailed for using the government to force others to practice her religion."
The other story hitting headlines these days is about the transgendered male who has decided to live his life as a female and has received permission from his school to use the female restroom and change room. This has caused a firestorm of bullshit on the internet, and at the school itself where hundreds of students protested because they said they felt uncomfortable with that idea.
First of all, can we put ourselves in her mind for a second... she was born as a male and, yes, with a penis. And for some people, that seems to be all that matters. She has a penis, therefore she is a he. I get that, physiologically. Facts are facts, they say. Except think of the confusion, and sorrow, and the absolute horribleness this girl must have felt growing up. Growing up as a "boy" and not feeling like a boy, feeling like there was something horribly wrong with you inside. The torment she must have felt for years... before deciding to truly be who she was born to be. A penis on the outside means nothing if the person you are on the inside doesn't match. I feel like the world has come a long way for "normal gay people." You know, the girls who love girls, and the boys who love boys. But the world is still terribly ignorant of transgendered people, and sorely lacking in compassion.
Two comments I read that made me the most angry: "If he's going to pretend to be a girl, he could at least make some effort with his appearance. He doesn't even look like a girl at all." Maybe, because on the outside, she's not a girl. That important piece of her identity is on the inside, where people can't see it. And until she takes medical steps, her outside might never match her inside, which is the struggle she's been fighting her whole life. The difference is, now, her attempt to match her insides is making some of us uncomfortable, instead of her.
Second comment: "How do we know that people who "identify" as transgendered aren't really just pretending so they can take advantage of women in the bathroom." To this, I say... really? Seriously? You think that someone would put themselves in this position in society solely to take advantage of, or seduce, a woman? You think a teenage "boy" would willingly wear a dress, and makeup, and a wig, and be the centre of ridicule and hatred day after day, on the off chance they may get a woman alone in the bathroom. That is ignorance in its purest form right there!
Should this girl be allowed to use the restroom with the other ladies? Sure, why not? There are stalls, after all, and it's not like we all stare at each other's vaginas when we go pee, and frankly I never know who's in there anyway. Should she be allowed to change in the changing room with other women? I can see some people's discomfort with this, and I can even understand the fear on a raw, instinctual level. Because that is truly what this is about, fear. And a lack of knowledge is what leads to this fear. But if the discomfort you feel is based solely on the fact that you think this chick is actually just a dude trying to get laid, well then I believe you deserve to suffer in your intolerance. In my opinion, it is not the other girls' "right" to be comfortable with the possibility of her using the change room, any more than it was the "right" of white people years ago to be comfortable with black people attending their school once segregation was ended, or the "right" of men to be comfortable with women voting. Comfort is not a right under the law. I'm sure that years ago, white women boycotted the right of black women to change in the same locker room as them, and scores of parents and people in society supported those boycotts. And the reasons are the same as they are today... a lack of knowledge and acceptance, and an abundance of intolerance.
For me, the bottom line is compassion. We need to have compassion for people in difficult situations, instead of flouncing our ignorance. Attempting to understand a person, and their situation, goes a lot farther, in my opinion, than fear-based judgments and decisions. We all need to take a moment to put ourselves in each other's shoes, and the internet needs to calm the fuck down with the hate. We all have the right to our own beliefs and morals. We all have the right to stand up and fight for what we believe in. However, none of us has the right to make another person feel like less than a person because of those beliefs. It seems like common sense to me. A little respect goes a long way! It's kinda like Thumper's mama said... If you don't have nuthin' nice to say, don't say nuthin' at all. So, internet... stop being a douchebag!
For me, the bottom line is compassion. We need to have compassion for people in difficult situations, instead of flouncing our ignorance. Attempting to understand a person, and their situation, goes a lot farther, in my opinion, than fear-based judgments and decisions. We all need to take a moment to put ourselves in each other's shoes, and the internet needs to calm the fuck down with the hate. We all have the right to our own beliefs and morals. We all have the right to stand up and fight for what we believe in. However, none of us has the right to make another person feel like less than a person because of those beliefs. It seems like common sense to me. A little respect goes a long way! It's kinda like Thumper's mama said... If you don't have nuthin' nice to say, don't say nuthin' at all. So, internet... stop being a douchebag!
