That Yucky Love Thing...

A few months ago we bought Gracie a new book.  It's called "That Yucky Love Thing."  It's about a boy who is grossed out by all the yucky love stuff going on around him so he escapes to the sea, the jungle, the moon, and finally a deserted island to get away from it.  There he meets Sam, a girl who has also escaped the yucky love stuff.  Of course, they end up holding hands in the end.  Yuck.  Double Yuck.

Wanna know why I'm remembering this book right now?  Because a little while ago, I wrote about how people post the most personal crap on Facebook.  I talked about fights, custody battles, temper tantrums, and all sorts of bad behaviour.  But I forgot one.  That yucky love stuff.

"Dear Boyfriend.  I love you so, so, so much.  My world was a dark empty hole before you came along to light up my life. xoxooxox *heart symbol *winky face"

Yuck.

"Dear Girlfriend.  You are so incredibly amazing and are the sexiest woman in the whole entire world.  I'm so blessed to have you in my life, and I would just shrivel up and die if we ever had to spend more than a few minutes apart. xoxoxo *kissy face *heart symbol"

Double yuck.

There are only a few reasons to post shit like that on Facebook.  One... for the "likes" you'll get.  Nothing like having 36 thumbs-up to tell you how amazing you're being to your significant other.  Two... to impress the person you're gushing about.  Three... dear single people, HAHAHA!  And four... you really think you're being sweet and genuine and Facebook is the perfect forum to spout sonnets to your lover.

Reason #1 - For every like you're getting, there are four of us throwing up in our mouths a little.

Reason #2 - She's amazing, we all get it.  Try whispering it in her ear, it's way more romantic. If they're as amazing as you say they are, they probably don't want to read about it on Facebook anyway.

Reason #3 - Obviously you're happy.  And a little while ago, maybe you weren't.  So why not show all the other miserable people how miserable they still are!  You just want to rub it in... a little bit!

Reasons #4 - I have a feeling that in a few months when this yucky love stuff wears off, you'll be the same ones with statuses like this: "My heart is broken in a million pieces and I don't think I'll ever be whole again.  Don't want to talk about it.  Going to cry myself into oblivion now! *broken heart symbol *sad face *teary face"  Or maybe this one "Skank gone and left me for another man.  Who the hell does she think she is?  Karma's a bitch, and you'll get what's yours you piece of..."  When you get to this point in your life, read this.

Don't get me wrong, I love love.  I think it's stupendous!  I think it's fabulous!  I think it's what keeps me going most days.  But share it with the whole wide world, day after day after day, and it gets awfully yucky.  I tell Danny I love him every day, often more than once.  But I don't profess it for the whole world to see... or when I do, it's when I find a funny, romantic, totally me way to tell him... like this:

I'm pretty convinced that the only people who love our yucky love stuff are Danny and me.  Sure, people are happy that we're happy.  But for the most part, nobody else could give a crap if the light in my life is shining a little brighter because my smoochy poo is the most amazing, incredible blessing I have ever had the pleasure of loving.  When people read that crap, we all collectively barf.  And there's nothing romantic and uplifting about barf.

But for the record:  Danny, you truly are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, and I don't know where I would be without your love and support.  I love that you love me, no matter how crazy I act, no matter how much I curse, and no matter how much I hate that yucky public love stuff.  I'll love you forever, and for always.  xoxoxox. :) :) :) :) :)  <3 <3 <3

Giving Thanks... with sarcasm.

Well Thanksgiving weekend is over... we're on to the next holiday, Halloween!  And as much as we're looking forward to dressing the girls up and taking them around the neighbourhood so we can enjoy some free candy, I feel as though I should give thanks for the blessings we celebrated this past weekend.

We decided to head up to Gagetown to spend Thanksgiving with my parents.  They are always travelling to see us, so we decided to make the 5 1/2-hour trip ourselves this time.  I'm thankful to my husband, for convincing me that was a good idea.

I had to work until noon on Friday, so Danny and the girls (and Charlie) met me at my office around 12:30 and we were off.  I had Danny stop to pick up some easy lunch to feed the girls (chicken nuggets and french fries - not at all healthy, but a helluva lot cleaner to eat in the car than a chicken wrap and apple sauce!).  I doled out the food to the girls, and off we went.  Since I was already in Kentville, the trip was half an hour shorter than I was expecting.  I'm thankful that I wasn't allowed to take the whole day off and spent my morning counting down the hours till lunchtime - hey, at least it saved me half an hour driving!

We hit the highway, and Gracie said "are we almost there yet?"  That's right... three minutes into our drive, and the questions started.  She also repeated that question at minute 5, 8, 11, 12, 13, 14, and 22.  I"m thankful my two-year old speaks so articulately, and with such volume. 

Have I mentioned before that Ella refuses to talk?  Apparently Gracie does enough talking for the both of them, so Ella has decided that screaming, grunting, and pointing is enough communication for her.  So she screeched and grunted her way through the next 2 hours of our drive.  Did I also mention that her nap time is at 1:00, and for the most part, my kids refuse to sleep in the car?  I'm thankful that after 2 hours of screaming and screeching, she finally fell asleep!

Gracie, for her part, was a pretty good traveller.  Around Truro we put on The Backyardigans, and except for the occasional verbal diarrhea, she was pretty great.  We stopped in Moncton for a snack for the kids, and made it to my parents' house just before 6:00.  I'm grateful for grandparents, on whom I unload my children and my dog, and who had a delicious pot of seafood chowder waiting for us when we arrived!

After 5 1/2 hours of driving, we attempted to put the children to bed at their regular time.  Ella went to bed pretty damn easily (I'm thankful for that - no sarcasm!).  Gracie had a total meltdown.  It was fun.  I'm grateful I slept downstairs and let my mom deal with the 3 a.m. wake-up call.  Sucker.

The weekend was pretty good.  On Saturday we went to the toy store (our children have never been in a toy store.  They were pretty amazed!), bought some tea, and went to Costco.  The girls had their regular naps, we played in the leaves, had a bonfire, and had an uneventful bedtime.  Sunday was pretty good too.  Dad and Grampy took the girls pumpkin picking (or, as Nanny says, "punkin"), Nanny and I went shopping, and we had a delicious turkey/roast beef supper.  I'm thankful that Ella is an incredibly picky eater who screeches and grunts and shakes her head "no" through every single meal while barely touching a thing... that means more leftovers for us.

On Monday we had breakfast (ooooh - I'm thankful for bacon.  I ate three packages throughout the weekend.  It. Is. Delicious. Yummy.), packed up and headed home.  Amazingly, our children were pretty close to silent for the first two hours of the trip.  We put on The Backyardigans, and they just zoned out until we reached Amherst.  I'm thankful we're crazy parents who only let our kids watch TV on the weekend because it means they stay incredibly entertained for two solid hours when travelling.

In Amherst we got lunch and while we were putting Gracie back in the car, she saw somebody smoking.  We told her that it was unhealthy, and yucky, and she was never, ever, ever, ever, allowed to smoke.  I'm thankful my two-year old has a such a strong mind of her own, because she promptly lost her shit, told us she was going to smoke when she got older, and she would decide for herself once she was a "big girl."  That was 10 minutes of pure tantrum throwing, screaming, grunting, and crying.  I'm thankful she's not a teenager.  Yet.

Gracie spent most of the next 3 hours being mostly really good.  Ella did not.  She screeched, and screamed, and cried, because heaven-forbid that girl have a freaking nap.  Just after New Minas, she let out one last scream and then passed out cold.  Danny also fell asleep, and Gracie watched her shows.  The last 20 minutes of the drive were pure heaven.

I'm thankful for restaurants, where we ate supper, and early bedtimes, which we all enjoyed.  The girls were in bed by 6:30, and Danny and I followed.  Although we watched TV for a bit, I'm fairly sure I was unconscious long before any adult should fall asleep.  I also slept through my alarm this morning and feel a little like death now.  Kids are exhausting, travelling is exhausting, and I'm exhausted.  But in all seriousness, I am thankful for my family; my kids, Danny, and my parents.  They're all pretty amazing, and give me lots of (serious) things to be thankful for! :)