A few months ago we bought Gracie a new book. It's called "That Yucky Love Thing." It's about a boy who is grossed out by all the yucky love stuff going on around him so he escapes to the sea, the jungle, the moon, and finally a deserted island to get away from it. There he meets Sam, a girl who has also escaped the yucky love stuff. Of course, they end up holding hands in the end. Yuck. Double Yuck.
Wanna know why I'm remembering this book right now? Because a little while ago, I wrote about how people post the most personal crap on Facebook. I talked about fights, custody battles, temper tantrums, and all sorts of bad behaviour. But I forgot one. That yucky love stuff.
"Dear Boyfriend. I love you so, so, so much. My world was a dark empty hole before you came along to light up my life. xoxooxox *heart symbol *winky face"
Yuck.
"Dear Girlfriend. You are so incredibly amazing and are the sexiest woman in the whole entire world. I'm so blessed to have you in my life, and I would just shrivel up and die if we ever had to spend more than a few minutes apart. xoxoxo *kissy face *heart symbol"
Double yuck.
There are only a few reasons to post shit like that on Facebook. One... for the "likes" you'll get. Nothing like having 36 thumbs-up to tell you how amazing you're being to your significant other. Two... to impress the person you're gushing about. Three... dear single people, HAHAHA! And four... you really think you're being sweet and genuine and Facebook is the perfect forum to spout sonnets to your lover.
Reason #1 - For every like you're getting, there are four of us throwing up in our mouths a little.
Reason #2 - She's amazing, we all get it. Try whispering it in her ear, it's way more romantic. If they're as amazing as you say they are, they probably don't want to read about it on Facebook anyway.
Reason #3 - Obviously you're happy. And a little while ago, maybe you weren't. So why not show all the other miserable people how miserable they still are! You just want to rub it in... a little bit!
Reasons #4 - I have a feeling that in a few months when this yucky love stuff wears off, you'll be the same ones with statuses like this: "My heart is broken in a million pieces and I don't think I'll ever be whole again. Don't want to talk about it. Going to cry myself into oblivion now! *broken heart symbol *sad face *teary face" Or maybe this one "Skank gone and left me for another man. Who the hell does she think she is? Karma's a bitch, and you'll get what's yours you piece of..." When you get to this point in your life, read this.
Don't get me wrong, I love love. I think it's stupendous! I think it's fabulous! I think it's what keeps me going most days. But share it with the whole wide world, day after day after day, and it gets awfully yucky. I tell Danny I love him every day, often more than once. But I don't profess it for the whole world to see... or when I do, it's when I find a funny, romantic, totally me way to tell him... like this:
I'm pretty convinced that the only people who love our yucky love stuff are Danny and me. Sure, people are happy that we're happy. But for the most part, nobody else could give a crap if the light in my life is shining a little brighter because my smoochy poo is the most amazing, incredible blessing I have ever had the pleasure of loving. When people read that crap, we all collectively barf. And there's nothing romantic and uplifting about barf.
But for the record: Danny, you truly are the most amazing thing to ever happen to me, and I don't know where I would be without your love and support. I love that you love me, no matter how crazy I act, no matter how much I curse, and no matter how much I hate that yucky public love stuff. I'll love you forever, and for always. xoxoxox. :) :) :) :) :) <3 <3 <3
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