Breastfeeding is the most natural thing in the world! At least, that's what we're told by basically every breastfeeding advocate out there - doctors, nurses, other breastfeeding mothers, complete strangers. And for some people, I'm sure it is! But here's my opinion...
There is nothing natural about having a tiny little person suck on a part of my body that is, by nature, extremely sensitive, to the point where it cracks, bleeds, and blisters. There is nothing natural about trying to grasp this flimsy little person by the head (without breaking its neck), positioning him or her into some sort of football hold, sliding them up, under, around, or behind clothing, all while trying to avoid exposing yourself to the general population. There is nothing natural about spraying milk up your baby's nose, into your own belly button, or halfway across the room. When having trouble breastfeeding, there is also nothing natural about hooking your boobs up to a mechanical device that pumps you dry (ask the cows, they'll tell you!!).
So... why do I do it? Because it's good for my babies... and because I'm terribly stubborn. I totally understand why some people automatically start formula feeding their babies. Trust me! With Gracie, the nurse came to visit me when she was 4 days old, took one look at my baby feeders and said, "Whoa. You need to stop feeding for a while. Try pumping for a few days to let those heal." To be fair, that was all Gracie's fault... she had a terrible latch (which brings me to another point, shouldn't something so "natural" come, oh I don't know, naturally to these babies??).
After pumping for weeks, breastfeeding when possible, and spending countless hours with lactation consultants, nurses, and other mommy breastfeeders, we finally got the latch fixed. Which means my problems should have been over! Except that I developed a lovely thrush infection (which Gracie was able to avoid because she was almost exclusively eating by bottle). It took 2 different prescriptions, a liquid that turns your nipples purple, a couple of natural remedies, and six (SIX!!!!) weeks to cure it. For those of you who don't know what a thrush infection feels like, it's basically like a hot coal poker being stabbed into your breast every time you feed your baby. It's excruciatingly painful! So after that, my problems should have been cured as well... except by then, I had been back to the doctor, who recommended a low-hormone birth control, which diminished my milk supply to the point that I had to start pumping every 2-3 hours (regardless of the fact that by now Gracie was eating every 5-6), which didn't work, by the way. I cried almost every day for the first 3 weeks of Gracie's life, struggling to keep going, when everything in me was telling (screaming at me) me to stop. Poor Danny spent more time trying to get me to stop crying than he did our infant child.
At around three months, I ended up having to supplement with formula. I bawled the day it happened. I emailed my public health nurse, begging her for more options so that I wouldn't have to expose my baby to the horrors of *gasp* formula! I cried to Danny, telling him how much of a failure I was for not being able to do what was so "natural" well enough to feed my baby. I cried a lot. Because everything, and almost everyone, puts so much pressure on new moms to breastfeed exclusively.
They say breast is best. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding makes for a healthier immune system in babies. Breastfeeding does this super thing, and that super thing. And that's all true. But what does a failure of a breastfeeding mom hear? She hears: Formula is worst. Formula increases the risk of SIDS. Formula wont keep your baby healthy. Formula is this bad thing, and that bad thing. I'm sure that all of that is extremely exaggerated granules of truth... but to a mother struggling, all of those things nag at you every time you feed your baby formula.
I had a lot of support in my struggles with breastfeeding. If I didn't, I probably would have given in the first time a nipple cracked. My support system were not the people telling me how horrible it would be to give up, they were not the annoying little voice in my head telling me how bad formula was. They were 100% there for me, to help when I needed it, or to support me if I finally decided to give up. They were fantastic!
Society in general now, I think, is the force behind all of this pressure on new moms. I know how important it is to educate people on the importance of breastfeeding, on the benefits of it. I know how important it is to have proper encouragement for new moms, and to increase our rate of breastfeeding mothers. But as a new mother, and after having spoken to many other new moms, we all agreed on one thing... all of that "encouragement" and "education" from the general public made us feel like failures if we weren't able to do it. I have actually had complete strangers ask me if I breastfeed, followed with "oh good, breast is best" when I said yes. What would they have said to me if I said no. And for that matter, what business is it of theirs what I feed my baby? The people telling me to "just give up already, and give her formula" weren't helpful at all either! I didn't want to give Gracie formula, I wanted to breastfeed!
I find mothers and women can be some of the most judgemental and harshest critics of other mothers and women. It seems many mothers seem to know what's best for themselves and others, and have an opinion about everything, regardless of each individuals' own personal experience.
I'm breastfeeding Ella as well. It's going much better than with Gracie. However, all of the trouble I had with Gracie led to a "diagnosis" of extreme sensitivity. Basically, that means that no matter how good the latch or how perfect breastfeeding is going, I will always find breastfeeding extremely painful. I extremely dislike breastfeeding. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think "forumla feeding would be so much easier." But, as previously mentioned, I'm stubborn! I refuse to give up. If I made it through my Gracie experience, I'm sure as hell not giving up this time! Breastmilk is best. I am reducing her risk of SIDS. I can feed her no matter where I am. I don't have to worry about heating up formula. And (one of the biggest factors for us), breastfeeding is free. However, for any moms out there struggling under the pressure from society to breastfeed, please don't be fooled by the "naturalness" of breastfeeding. For many people, there is nothing natural about breastfeeding, and there is nothing un-natural about forumla feeding.
I know the pressure and guilt that comes with trying to do something that sometimes feels so un-natural! Please, breastfeed for the right reasons... because it's what best for baby and you.
There is nothing natural about having a tiny little person suck on a part of my body that is, by nature, extremely sensitive, to the point where it cracks, bleeds, and blisters. There is nothing natural about trying to grasp this flimsy little person by the head (without breaking its neck), positioning him or her into some sort of football hold, sliding them up, under, around, or behind clothing, all while trying to avoid exposing yourself to the general population. There is nothing natural about spraying milk up your baby's nose, into your own belly button, or halfway across the room. When having trouble breastfeeding, there is also nothing natural about hooking your boobs up to a mechanical device that pumps you dry (ask the cows, they'll tell you!!).
So... why do I do it? Because it's good for my babies... and because I'm terribly stubborn. I totally understand why some people automatically start formula feeding their babies. Trust me! With Gracie, the nurse came to visit me when she was 4 days old, took one look at my baby feeders and said, "Whoa. You need to stop feeding for a while. Try pumping for a few days to let those heal." To be fair, that was all Gracie's fault... she had a terrible latch (which brings me to another point, shouldn't something so "natural" come, oh I don't know, naturally to these babies??).
After pumping for weeks, breastfeeding when possible, and spending countless hours with lactation consultants, nurses, and other mommy breastfeeders, we finally got the latch fixed. Which means my problems should have been over! Except that I developed a lovely thrush infection (which Gracie was able to avoid because she was almost exclusively eating by bottle). It took 2 different prescriptions, a liquid that turns your nipples purple, a couple of natural remedies, and six (SIX!!!!) weeks to cure it. For those of you who don't know what a thrush infection feels like, it's basically like a hot coal poker being stabbed into your breast every time you feed your baby. It's excruciatingly painful! So after that, my problems should have been cured as well... except by then, I had been back to the doctor, who recommended a low-hormone birth control, which diminished my milk supply to the point that I had to start pumping every 2-3 hours (regardless of the fact that by now Gracie was eating every 5-6), which didn't work, by the way. I cried almost every day for the first 3 weeks of Gracie's life, struggling to keep going, when everything in me was telling (screaming at me) me to stop. Poor Danny spent more time trying to get me to stop crying than he did our infant child.
At around three months, I ended up having to supplement with formula. I bawled the day it happened. I emailed my public health nurse, begging her for more options so that I wouldn't have to expose my baby to the horrors of *gasp* formula! I cried to Danny, telling him how much of a failure I was for not being able to do what was so "natural" well enough to feed my baby. I cried a lot. Because everything, and almost everyone, puts so much pressure on new moms to breastfeed exclusively.
They say breast is best. Breastfeeding reduces the risk of SIDS. Breastfeeding makes for a healthier immune system in babies. Breastfeeding does this super thing, and that super thing. And that's all true. But what does a failure of a breastfeeding mom hear? She hears: Formula is worst. Formula increases the risk of SIDS. Formula wont keep your baby healthy. Formula is this bad thing, and that bad thing. I'm sure that all of that is extremely exaggerated granules of truth... but to a mother struggling, all of those things nag at you every time you feed your baby formula.
I had a lot of support in my struggles with breastfeeding. If I didn't, I probably would have given in the first time a nipple cracked. My support system were not the people telling me how horrible it would be to give up, they were not the annoying little voice in my head telling me how bad formula was. They were 100% there for me, to help when I needed it, or to support me if I finally decided to give up. They were fantastic!
Society in general now, I think, is the force behind all of this pressure on new moms. I know how important it is to educate people on the importance of breastfeeding, on the benefits of it. I know how important it is to have proper encouragement for new moms, and to increase our rate of breastfeeding mothers. But as a new mother, and after having spoken to many other new moms, we all agreed on one thing... all of that "encouragement" and "education" from the general public made us feel like failures if we weren't able to do it. I have actually had complete strangers ask me if I breastfeed, followed with "oh good, breast is best" when I said yes. What would they have said to me if I said no. And for that matter, what business is it of theirs what I feed my baby? The people telling me to "just give up already, and give her formula" weren't helpful at all either! I didn't want to give Gracie formula, I wanted to breastfeed!
I find mothers and women can be some of the most judgemental and harshest critics of other mothers and women. It seems many mothers seem to know what's best for themselves and others, and have an opinion about everything, regardless of each individuals' own personal experience.
I'm breastfeeding Ella as well. It's going much better than with Gracie. However, all of the trouble I had with Gracie led to a "diagnosis" of extreme sensitivity. Basically, that means that no matter how good the latch or how perfect breastfeeding is going, I will always find breastfeeding extremely painful. I extremely dislike breastfeeding. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think "forumla feeding would be so much easier." But, as previously mentioned, I'm stubborn! I refuse to give up. If I made it through my Gracie experience, I'm sure as hell not giving up this time! Breastmilk is best. I am reducing her risk of SIDS. I can feed her no matter where I am. I don't have to worry about heating up formula. And (one of the biggest factors for us), breastfeeding is free. However, for any moms out there struggling under the pressure from society to breastfeed, please don't be fooled by the "naturalness" of breastfeeding. For many people, there is nothing natural about breastfeeding, and there is nothing un-natural about forumla feeding.
I know the pressure and guilt that comes with trying to do something that sometimes feels so un-natural! Please, breastfeed for the right reasons... because it's what best for baby and you.
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