Diamonds are not a girl's best friend... at least, not this girl. A stiff drink is this girl's best friend! Let me tell you that once I became a mother, I realized that in order to keep my sanity, alcohol would need to be a loving part of my life.
Oh sure, I could turn to exercise to relax me. Or prayer, to calm my mind. But here's how those things look to me...
"I should exercise. Except that I've been up since 5:30 this morning, and I feel like my feet are cemented to the floor. And if I lay down to do a sit up, I'll probably fall asleep on my exercise mat. Not to mention that I would have to get changed out of my work clothes. So I would have to take these clothes off, and get into new clothes? That seems like a whole lot of work. Nah, I think I'll grab a beer and plop my bum in front of Pinterest for the evening."
And then there's prayer, it looks something like this...
"Dear Lord, thank you for giving me the strength to get through the day. I'm sorry I lost my temper and yelled at the girls. At least I didn't curse at them like I did that jackass who pulled out in front of me on my drive home today. What is wrong with people anyway, they can't get their head out of their ass long enough to have a look around before they pull out of a parking lot. Like, hello?! And you know what else, my coworkers have been so freaking cranky lately... they're ruining my good attitude. I come to work every day with a smile on my face. But then I hear the bitching and complaining, and I want to throw myself out my office window. I'm a happy person, god damn it, and I'm tired of cranky ass motherfu... wait a second, where was I? Oh just forget it."
Don't get me wrong, I don't think drinking solves anything. The same way as money can't buy you happiness. But it sure helps! You see, we don't have air conditioning in our house. Mostly because all of the windows open in a way that makes it impossible to install one. And this time of year is hot. So. Freaking. Hot. And the girls come home from daycare, and we have supper, and we play, and we put them to bed, and I'm still So. Freaking. Hot. Not to mention cranky, from all the bullshit that goes on during a normal working day. So a nice cold beer... well it's pure heaven! I twist the top off (okay, I hand it to Danny to twist the top off because I still can't figure out how to do it without wripping my hands to shreds!), take a big gulp, and.... ahhhhhhh!! The power of alcohol!
I understand that, for some, drinking may cause more problems than it solves. Those people should stay away from alcohol!! Meditation, prayer, and exercise will probably work well for you! But for us tired, cranky, overworked mothers... there is nothing like a little shot of liquid refreshment to give you the energy you need to make it through the rest of the night.
And don't think that you can judge me for this... I know lots of women who look like those perfect mothers in magazines. They speak oh so nicely to their children all the time, they smile at their annoying husbands, they loooove their jobs. But let me tell you, when girls' night comes around, we all agree that a little alcohol makes motherhood/wifeness/working just a little bit better. And having a little treat to make bad days a little more tolerable? Well, I'll drink to that!!
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