If parenting was a competition... I would totally win.

You know something I have noticed since the first day that Gracie was born?  The fact that every time Danny does any sort of normal parent thing (i.e., wipe a bum, pick a booger, put in a ponytail) and someone outside of our immediate family is around, that person will always say "awwww, he's such a good dad!"  

If we walk through the mall, all four of us, and Danny is either (a) holding Gracie's hand, or (b) holding Ella, someone will always make a comment - "awwww, look at him with his little girls.  He's such a good dad."  Ummm, hello?  Mom is there too!

When I go to pick up Gracie from daycare, our babysitter always says to me, "you've got some good husband there Samantha, he's so good with the girls.  What a good dad."   I asked Danny if she's ever said the same thing about me when he picks up Gracie... NOPE!!

Soooo... I would just like to take a moment and clarify something for everybody out there.  Parenting isn't a competition!!  But if it were, I would totally win.

I think dads get a sort of handicap when it comes to the parenting game.  Like golf... they automatically start off with more points (or less??  I don't really know golf...) because they're considered to be at a disadvantage.  Moms are just expected to do all the normal parenting things cause they're, well, moms.  Well guess what people? It isn't the 1900s anymore.  Lots of dads have stepped up and are totally involved in the day-to-day caring of a child (like Danny is).  So let's get rid of that handicap and at least start us off on even ground!  But to be clear again... even with Danny's handicap, I still totally win.

Let's compare our parenting, shall we... and you can decide for yourself (although it will be abundantly clear) who the real winner is!

1)  I get up with the girls.  Every. Single. Day.  This should be all we need to decide the winner, because it is the crappiest part of parenting!  Also, please refer to my post here to read more about how I rock the mornings with the girls (also, please ignore the part where I say it's not Danny's fault he sleeps in... he should get no credit here).

2)  I cook for the girls.  Granted, some times it's just Kraft Dinner, or hotdogs... and maybe a handful of times it's been cheese and crackers or whatever else I could find resembling food.  But still.  I cook, therefore I win.

3)  I play with Gracie.  Barbies, Playdough, nail polish, or whatever else she wants.  Danny plays too, I'll give him that... but I'm pretty sure I do it better.  Please don't think that Danny deserves extra points for playing with "girl" toys when he's a big strong man.  After all, it was him who made them girls.  Just sayin'.

4)  I read books to the girls.  Danny reads too, it's true.  But I use cool voices.  (That means I win)

5)  When Gracie starts her endless jibber-jabbering about totally mundane or non-sensical things and expects you to reply to every single sentence even if you're in the middle of a million other things at the time, I do it more often before screaming "for the love of God, please make this child stop."  Not every time, because usually I've been Super-Momming it up all day and dont have the patience, so sometimes Danny beats me (that is NOT a reference to my black eye)... ...yeah, I better let him have this one.

6)  I'm patient-er.  Nope, this is not true.  Give this one to him too.

7)  I cry more often.  It's obviously because I care more.  Bonus points, please!

Well, I'm pretty sure I'm running out of things to compare... but that's only because I'm distracted because the house needs to be tidied up and meals planned for tomorrow, and I'm doing it alone because Danny is off galavanting all the way across the country in Yellowknife.  Yes, he's gone because of work.  No, that's not an excuse not to be here (can I get a points deduction here please?)!

So as you can clearly see... #1 parent, right here!!  Take that, all you strangers at the mall who think he's so awesome.  By the way, in case you feel like complimenting him on his parenting skills, please don't, because I'm pretty sure it's going to his head... because if you were to ask him who the better parent is, he'd probably say himself, and that's just crazy.

PS - This parenting comparison is done in jest.  Danny is a fantastic parent!  I couldn't ask for a better husband or father for my girls.  He bathes, burps, feeds, walks, plays with, disciplines, wipes, cleans, and everything else that I do.  And all without being asked.  He is an amazing father, and the girls are so lucky to have him!!

PPS - But seriously, I still win.