Dear Mommy...

Dear Mommy...

I've been reading some of your posts, and I have some things to say to you.

First of all, I take offense to the titles "demon child," "spawn of Satan," "shithead," and some others you have called me.  I am a princess, and if you don't mind, I would like to be referred to as such from now on.

Second of all, I read your entry about "witching hour."  I think we need to tell the truth about it.  It's not witching hour, it's "starve your oldest daughter until she weighs almost nothing hour."  I am not screaming and crying because it's fun.  It's because I'm hungry.  Starving!  If you would have supper ready at a reasonable time, this wouldn't happen.  Also, if you could keep that baby sister of mine quiet, that would help.  When you can't hear me screaming, I feel the need to scream louder!

Next... I've heard you talking about my "attitude."  I would like to clarify:  it is not attitude, it is my way of dealing with stupid people.  Mainly you.  If you weren't so difficult to deal with, I wouldn't have such a huge attitude.  Just give me what I want, when I want it.  It's that simple, mooooom! *eye roll*

Next.  This time-out thing... I'm not impressed.  You think it's this big punishment, but really, it's just two minutes of relaxation for me.  Why do you think I've started asking for time-outs lately?  It's better than hearing you nag all the time! Nag, nag, nag... time-out please!

And another thing, these "games" that we play... I know they're really learning tools.  I wasn't born yesterday, you know! "Oooh, Gracie, let's play your shapes game."  It's not a game mom, you hold up a card, I tell you what it is.  I'm learning.  So let's just call it that, okay?

Last one... I've seen you write about how we eat healthy, and I'm on to you, lady!  You can't mash bananas and peanut butter together, bake it in the oven, and call it a cookie.  That's no cookie, mom!  Also, snow peas don't count as a real snack.  I want sugar.  And chocolate!!

That is all for now, moooom! *eye roll*  But I'm watching you!

Sincerely,

Princess Gracie 

xox

PS - I don't like you picking on Daddy about sleeping in.  Out of the two of you, he's definitely my favourite, so cut it out.