Ford Family Adventures: More than just a mom...

Five years ago I became a mom, and since then mom has pretty much been my identity. This became even more true after I stopped working, and became a full-time mom. Before then, I was a mom, sure, but when people asked me what I did, "mom" was never my first answer. Now, everything I do revolves around my kids. When I sleep, when I eat, where I go, what we do.

Motherhood can be a lonely experience. Especially for stay-at-home moms, whose sole interaction are usually little people who think they rule the world (newsflash - they actually do!). I've lost many friends since becoming a mother. Some, were true and real friends, who drifted apart, and whom I miss dearly. Some were friends I met and clung to because they were also mothers. These friendships were exhausting... trying so hard to be friends because you think you have this amazing thing in common, and realizing that you were spending more time pretending to be someone you're not, a mother that you're not, because you're hoping to be accepted into the motherhood clique. Really, and truly, not worth it. I don't know if you've heard, but the mommy wars are a real thing, and certain moms have a way of making a mother feel like a special kind of worthless. I've spent a lot of the last five years feeling worthless to anybody outside of my immediate family. I've cried a lot of tears, wondering and pretending that I didn't care why I wasn't invited to the mom-event of the month. Why the only girls nights out I attended were the ones I arranged. Why invitations to other people were always answered with "Yes, for sure, I'll call you!" and then not hearing another word until the next awkward time I ran into that person in public. So much energy. So much heart and soul. Such a waste of my precious time. And all because these seemed like the cool moms, the good moms, the moms I needed to be like. It was so important for me to feel like I fit in with these mothers, because they seemed to have it all together.

I can count on one hand the number of real friends I have, and I've learned how important those people really are to me. They are the ones that I can call after months of not speaking to and feel like we just spoke minutes ago. They are the ones who send cards and call on my kids' birthdays, not because they were invited to a party, but because they truly love my kids. They are the ones I can sit with for hours and talk, and never once feel like I'm being judged or like I need to prove my worth. They are the ones who know, and who helped me remember, that I am more than just a mom.

Nowadays, I mostly answer to "Mom," "Mommy," "Gracie's Mom," "Ella's Mommy," and "Jax's Mother." But before I was mom, I was Danny's wife, a Paralegal, an avid reader, a photographer, an aspiring cook, an adventure-seeker, a Valley girl, and so much more. All of those other parts of me may have dimmed a bit since becoming a mother, but I am slowly remembering that those parts are also so important. It's easy to get lost in motherhood, to forget the person you were before. It's true that motherhood changes you, and in so many good ways! But in order to be truly happy, you have to remember to be more than just a mom. Whether it's reading, or cooking, or knitting, or writing, or laying on the grass and watching the stars. It's important to stay connected to the person that made you who you are today, that helped you become the mother you are, because that "old" person is so important, even still!

And when you and your kids are looking through old pictures (like me and mine were today), it'll be fun to remember who you are, and who you used to be... or as Gracie said to me when she saw my grad photo - "Wow, mom. Before you were a mommy, you had really pretty hair!"

Here, a walk down memory lane to before I was just a mom...