Three years ago tonight, our little Miss Ella was born. She came into this world as a force to be reckoned with, and she has yet to change that about herself. She is the strongest-willed little person I've ever met, and I anticipate the older she gets, the stronger willed her wills will be! Yes as Shakespeare said, "Though she be but little, she is fierce."
I've heard that the 3's are much more terrible than the terrible 2's. With Gracie, it has all been mostly easy-going. But I'm pretty sure Gracie, or some shithead who hates us, talked to Ella and told her she is supposed to be her most horrible during this year of her life... and Ella, for once, listened. The last week has been the most challenging in our short parenting lives. The attitude and stinky behaviour has seemed to grow exponentially each day. I'm hoping it's due to the move, and the constant flow of visitors for the last few weeks, and that once we get back to our normal routine and expectations that some sense of normalcy will return to her behaviour. Because if not, she may not make it to her 4th birthday in one piece!!
We had Ella's birthday party this past weekend. And we had one for Jax last month. And I've decided something... I freaking hate birthday parties. I can't be the only one? Probably not, but I'm sure I'm the only one who'll admit it out loud, cause I'm obnoxious like that. But all the planning, and preparations, and cleaning, and money (oh! the money!!). It's absolutely ridiculous!
So first of all, deciding who to invite is a challenge. My kids actually know and enjoy a small handful of other children. But then we have personal friends with kids their age, who we don't want to offend by leaving off the party list. I was speaking with one parent who said she had to make cuts this year to her son's invite list because between daycare, pre-school, and soccer, she just couldn't have 30 kids at the party. Yeah. No shit! The expectation that you be invited to a party because your kid happens to attend a program that the birthday kid is involved with is ridonculous! And yet... the expectation is there! Thank heavens, my kids aren't involved in anything right now (cause they're 3 and 4), so we don't have that added pressure yet - but I totally feel for the parents who get trapped into having birthday parties with 15+ kids... craaaazy!!
Okay, so let's say you do finally figure out the birthday invite list. Then you're waiting for these parents to RSVP. Does anybody out there know what RSVP means? It's means RESPOND, s'ils-vous plait! There's a big difference between 4 kids and 14 kids at a party. Mainly, the food! And yeah, let's talk about that for a second! A birthday cake to feed a ravenous group of kids is like $20. Unless you get the icecream version, which is like $45. Then there's snacks for the group. Most parents these days would like healthy versions, which means fruit trays and veggie trays. That shit is expensive, so this time I said f' that, and got chips. That's right! Chips and cheesies, my friends! But still... that fried crap is not that cheap either! You are usually expected to have juice too, so add on a few more dollars. If you happen to hold the birthday party over lunch time hours, add on hotdogs for a BBQ, or a pizza or five. And don't forget, kids this age don't stay at parties by themselves, so make sure you have enough to feed the parents, too! Did you count how easily that food added up??
And the treat bags. Let's talk about the treat bags shall we? Even if you do a basic, candy-filled treat bag, you're looking at $40-$50 worth of junk. And for what?? Thanks for coming to celebrate my kid's birthday, and here's a present for you? Not to be horribly shitty, but it is my kid's birthday... so why am I the one handing out presents at the end? Apparently it's tradition, but I honestly don't remember getting goodies to take home when I was a kid. And we've been to birthdays where the kids not only leave with a treat bag, but with toys too. Even if you get that shit at the dollar store (which, by the way, is now Dollar Plus - the bastards), it adds up so freaking fast!! It's insane! And it's almost expected, which makes it worse. At Gracie's birthday party in January, I popped popcorn, put it in nice little decorated baggies, with a card that said "Thanks for Poppin' by my Party." This time, I bought Pixie Stix, and decorated them to look like giant flowers. Cost me $6.00 total (well $12, cause a bunch of people didn't RSVP, and I had to make sure I had something for them just in case - but hey, those Pixie Stix are mine now!!). And I got to send home the kids with a stick full of sugar. Heh, heh, heh.
This year at Ella's party, I didn't plan any games or activities. I sent the kids outside, where they played on the playset, and ran around in the sprinklers for two hours. We had cake and chips, and glasses of water (yeah, I may have upset a little girl when I told her water was the only option to drink - but I forgot the juice!). Then we opened presents and went back outside to play. The kids loved it! We've gone to parties at Roos before, which my kids loooooved! They always ask me for a party at Roos, and I always say "hellz no." Respect to the parents that can afford that... but not us. First of all, we just doubled our mortgage payment and then halved the number of money-earners. Plus we have three kids. And I just refuse to choose between Roos or booze. Okay, so I only said booze because it rhymed, but seriously. Birthday party? Food? Birthday party? Food? Easy choice for me.
Growing up, I remember having one birthday party. It was a surprise birthday party, when I turned 16. They were all late, so my mom yelled surprise and then we waited for the guests to show up! But that party was awesome. I don't really remember any other parties when I was a kid, either for me or my friends. I really feel like this birthday party bullshit has gotten way out of hand, like many other things with raising kids these days!! It seems like the expectations of parents is to throw a party for every birthday. Provide food, and games, and entertainment, and treat bags, and all things amazing. But why? What is wrong with spending time with your kids and making the day special, just you and them, and maybe a genuinely good friend of theirs - not the entire pre-school class of children whose names you don't know? Pinterest is packed full of ideas for princess parties, minecraft parties (I still don't know what minecraft is, btw), Frozen parties, cowboy parties, and all of these extravagant ideas on how to make your child's birthday party the best one ever. I call crazy! Crazy, crazy, crazy!
These days, it seems we have to have the best of everything for our children. Not that I don't love my children, but they certainly don't deserve the best of everything! They deserve the best we can afford, and I don't just mean financially. Emotionally too. That means I would much rather spend my daughter's birthday doing our favourite things - going to the zoo, playing in the park, eating at a restaurant - and filling her day full of the best memories possible so that she remembers that we loved her and made her feel special. My children don't deserve to have a party at Roos just because that's what everyone else is doing. They don't deserve for me to rent a bouncy castle or two for the front yard and invite the whole neighbourhood over to play. They deserve only love and awesome memories, and the best that we can do. I've heard of parents taking out loans to ensure their kids stay in hockey, and a friend of mine told me how she just spent $600.00 on a prom dress for her daughter to go to... wait for it... grade 9 prom! That's crazy! This world has gone crazy with the things we are expected to do for our children, and perhaps I am old school, but I am really trying to not get sucked into it!
I think if we spent a little less time trying to fulfil our children's happiness with things, and spent more time filling them with memories our children would be a lot better off. Put down the phone, and spend time, instead of money. That's my goal, anyway. Enough of this birthday bullshit (and in the future, prom bullshit)... we've got memories to make, and I don't need, or want, to spent hundreds of dollars to make them. Next year, we'll aim to be party-free! We'll spend time with the friends and family who really mean the most to us, and who don't need juice boxes and party favours!
I've heard that the 3's are much more terrible than the terrible 2's. With Gracie, it has all been mostly easy-going. But I'm pretty sure Gracie, or some shithead who hates us, talked to Ella and told her she is supposed to be her most horrible during this year of her life... and Ella, for once, listened. The last week has been the most challenging in our short parenting lives. The attitude and stinky behaviour has seemed to grow exponentially each day. I'm hoping it's due to the move, and the constant flow of visitors for the last few weeks, and that once we get back to our normal routine and expectations that some sense of normalcy will return to her behaviour. Because if not, she may not make it to her 4th birthday in one piece!!
We had Ella's birthday party this past weekend. And we had one for Jax last month. And I've decided something... I freaking hate birthday parties. I can't be the only one? Probably not, but I'm sure I'm the only one who'll admit it out loud, cause I'm obnoxious like that. But all the planning, and preparations, and cleaning, and money (oh! the money!!). It's absolutely ridiculous!
So first of all, deciding who to invite is a challenge. My kids actually know and enjoy a small handful of other children. But then we have personal friends with kids their age, who we don't want to offend by leaving off the party list. I was speaking with one parent who said she had to make cuts this year to her son's invite list because between daycare, pre-school, and soccer, she just couldn't have 30 kids at the party. Yeah. No shit! The expectation that you be invited to a party because your kid happens to attend a program that the birthday kid is involved with is ridonculous! And yet... the expectation is there! Thank heavens, my kids aren't involved in anything right now (cause they're 3 and 4), so we don't have that added pressure yet - but I totally feel for the parents who get trapped into having birthday parties with 15+ kids... craaaazy!!
Okay, so let's say you do finally figure out the birthday invite list. Then you're waiting for these parents to RSVP. Does anybody out there know what RSVP means? It's means RESPOND, s'ils-vous plait! There's a big difference between 4 kids and 14 kids at a party. Mainly, the food! And yeah, let's talk about that for a second! A birthday cake to feed a ravenous group of kids is like $20. Unless you get the icecream version, which is like $45. Then there's snacks for the group. Most parents these days would like healthy versions, which means fruit trays and veggie trays. That shit is expensive, so this time I said f' that, and got chips. That's right! Chips and cheesies, my friends! But still... that fried crap is not that cheap either! You are usually expected to have juice too, so add on a few more dollars. If you happen to hold the birthday party over lunch time hours, add on hotdogs for a BBQ, or a pizza or five. And don't forget, kids this age don't stay at parties by themselves, so make sure you have enough to feed the parents, too! Did you count how easily that food added up??
And the treat bags. Let's talk about the treat bags shall we? Even if you do a basic, candy-filled treat bag, you're looking at $40-$50 worth of junk. And for what?? Thanks for coming to celebrate my kid's birthday, and here's a present for you? Not to be horribly shitty, but it is my kid's birthday... so why am I the one handing out presents at the end? Apparently it's tradition, but I honestly don't remember getting goodies to take home when I was a kid. And we've been to birthdays where the kids not only leave with a treat bag, but with toys too. Even if you get that shit at the dollar store (which, by the way, is now Dollar Plus - the bastards), it adds up so freaking fast!! It's insane! And it's almost expected, which makes it worse. At Gracie's birthday party in January, I popped popcorn, put it in nice little decorated baggies, with a card that said "Thanks for Poppin' by my Party." This time, I bought Pixie Stix, and decorated them to look like giant flowers. Cost me $6.00 total (well $12, cause a bunch of people didn't RSVP, and I had to make sure I had something for them just in case - but hey, those Pixie Stix are mine now!!). And I got to send home the kids with a stick full of sugar. Heh, heh, heh.
This year at Ella's party, I didn't plan any games or activities. I sent the kids outside, where they played on the playset, and ran around in the sprinklers for two hours. We had cake and chips, and glasses of water (yeah, I may have upset a little girl when I told her water was the only option to drink - but I forgot the juice!). Then we opened presents and went back outside to play. The kids loved it! We've gone to parties at Roos before, which my kids loooooved! They always ask me for a party at Roos, and I always say "hellz no." Respect to the parents that can afford that... but not us. First of all, we just doubled our mortgage payment and then halved the number of money-earners. Plus we have three kids. And I just refuse to choose between Roos or booze. Okay, so I only said booze because it rhymed, but seriously. Birthday party? Food? Birthday party? Food? Easy choice for me.
Growing up, I remember having one birthday party. It was a surprise birthday party, when I turned 16. They were all late, so my mom yelled surprise and then we waited for the guests to show up! But that party was awesome. I don't really remember any other parties when I was a kid, either for me or my friends. I really feel like this birthday party bullshit has gotten way out of hand, like many other things with raising kids these days!! It seems like the expectations of parents is to throw a party for every birthday. Provide food, and games, and entertainment, and treat bags, and all things amazing. But why? What is wrong with spending time with your kids and making the day special, just you and them, and maybe a genuinely good friend of theirs - not the entire pre-school class of children whose names you don't know? Pinterest is packed full of ideas for princess parties, minecraft parties (I still don't know what minecraft is, btw), Frozen parties, cowboy parties, and all of these extravagant ideas on how to make your child's birthday party the best one ever. I call crazy! Crazy, crazy, crazy!
These days, it seems we have to have the best of everything for our children. Not that I don't love my children, but they certainly don't deserve the best of everything! They deserve the best we can afford, and I don't just mean financially. Emotionally too. That means I would much rather spend my daughter's birthday doing our favourite things - going to the zoo, playing in the park, eating at a restaurant - and filling her day full of the best memories possible so that she remembers that we loved her and made her feel special. My children don't deserve to have a party at Roos just because that's what everyone else is doing. They don't deserve for me to rent a bouncy castle or two for the front yard and invite the whole neighbourhood over to play. They deserve only love and awesome memories, and the best that we can do. I've heard of parents taking out loans to ensure their kids stay in hockey, and a friend of mine told me how she just spent $600.00 on a prom dress for her daughter to go to... wait for it... grade 9 prom! That's crazy! This world has gone crazy with the things we are expected to do for our children, and perhaps I am old school, but I am really trying to not get sucked into it!
I think if we spent a little less time trying to fulfil our children's happiness with things, and spent more time filling them with memories our children would be a lot better off. Put down the phone, and spend time, instead of money. That's my goal, anyway. Enough of this birthday bullshit (and in the future, prom bullshit)... we've got memories to make, and I don't need, or want, to spent hundreds of dollars to make them. Next year, we'll aim to be party-free! We'll spend time with the friends and family who really mean the most to us, and who don't need juice boxes and party favours!
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