A letter to Baby...

Dear Baby Girl:

I consider myself a pretty patient person... I run a Sunday School program with 80+ students (which also often means 160 parental opinions), I grew up as the youngest child (although I'm pretty sure now that I'm the favourite! hehe), and I work for lawyers - some of the most arrogant and egotistical people on the planet (not my bosses though, of course!!).  But I have to tell you, little girl, that my patience for your arrival has just about run out!!  You were supposed to get here a week ago!  And yet, you stay where you are!  Despite gentle coaxing, talking, singing, praying, and despite mommy's near-mental-breakdowns... you refuse to come out!

I get it... you've got a nice mixture of Ford and Fillmore in your blood.  I know how stubborn those bloodlines can be.  But REALLY?!?  Starting this early?  I also get that you probably want to grow up just like your big sister... and since she was late, you should be too!  Or maybe it's an early jealousy thing, and you want to hang on just one day longer than she did!

I've loved being pregnant with you.  You were easy on me... no sickness, no aches, no pains, no swelling (despite the 30+ degree weather the last week).  I've loved feeling you move around... and you getting all excited when Gracie comes up and talks into my belly button.  I've loved the hiccups, and even the kicks and jabs.  But enough is enough now... it's time to come and meet everybody!  Gracie is starting to think we're lying to her, since we've been saying for almost 3 weeks now "we're bringing your baby sister home soon."  I think now she just rolls her eyes and thinks "sure mommy, sure daddy, I've heard that one before!"

Each week when I go to the doctor, he says "any signs of labour?"  And I have to say, "no, none at all."  And he kind of laughs.  Not even he expected you to stay put so long.  "It's not that common to have to induce with second babies.  They usually come on their own."  And yet, we have appointments for this week to start the process of going in and getting you out ourselves!

The last few days I've been trying lots of the old wives' tales to get you moving.  I cannot bring myself to drink castor oil, but we've tried a lot!  We've spent a lot of time walking the mall, one end to the other, over and over again.  I don't know what else to do to encourage you!

I promise that we will protect you, and love you... we just need to meet you first!  There's no reason to be scared.  It's quite awesome out here in the real world.  You'll have more room to stretch and move, and there are all sorts of things to play with and entertain you!  You have a big sister who is very excited to meet you, a daddy who will love to snuggle and hug you, and a mommy who has more to offer than just a room in her belly!!

I'll make you a deal... if you arrive on your own soon, I'll stop poking at my belly and screaming "get out!"  I'll stop yelling expletives at my crotch in complete and utter frustration.  I'll even completely forget  how your first impression on this world has been total stubbornness (like your daddy).  I'll just be wholly and utterly in love with you!

See you soon my lovely little girl!

Love,

Mommy

xox

My little women... stubborn, and tough!

Well, here we are... 5 days post-due date, and I'm still hanging on!  No signs of labour, no signs of the end.  The good news is, by this time next week, this child will be born... it just remains to be seen if it's of her own free will!  I have a doctor's appointment Tuesday morning and we'll discuss our "options" at that point.  Really, what options are there?  Get her out!!!

The little girl I already have has been doing a lot of growing and adjusting the last couple of weeks too.  She has decided after 1 1/2 years of independence that maybe she is a little bit needy and sooky too.  It's perfect timing, isn't it? haha  The good news for me, is that she is still mostly a daddy's girl... so as long as he's around, hopefully I wont have to do too much juggling with a newborn and a toddler in my arms. 

Gracie is also starting to speak in full sentences.  Not complete sentences... but full ones.  Instead of just yelling "bye" now, she says "bye bye daddy," or "bye bye mommy daddy."  Last week we were out and about and she fell and scraped her knee on the pavement.  Daddy was right there to pick her up and kiss it better, and for the next 3 days, every time I got her out of bed in the morning and she saw her scrape, this is what she said to me... "Mommy!  Boo-boo, daddy, up, *muwah*"  That may not sound like a full sentence to you, but since I knew the background story, I could piece it together.  "Did you fall and get a boo-boo?"  "Yes."  "And did daddy pick you up?"  "Yes!"  "And did he kiss it better?" "Yes!"  And we repeated this story every morning until something new caught her attention.

Yesterday we had our first "major" accident involving Gracie and the stairs.  It was a beautiful morning and we wanted to go outside and play before it got too hot and mommy started melting.  So gathered up some bubbles, an outdoor toy, and some water bottles and headed down the stairs to the front door.  Gracie had her doll and her water glass in her hand, so I asked her to wait at the top of the stairs.  Charlie, our lovely doggy, also wanted to go outside and play, and couldn't contain her excitement.  The thing about Charlie is that she's a lovely dog, but she has no "put my family first" loyalty like many dogs.  She would run us over in a second if it meant getting where she wanted quicker.  And that's exactly what happened yesterday.  Charlie wanted outdoors, and although she knows she's not allowed down the stairs without being invited first, that didn't stop her from spinning in circles at the top and running from the kitchen to a screaming halt at the top step.  So poor Gracie, who was patiently waiting her turn  to come down the stairs, got plowed into by the overly-eager dog.  Since Gracie had her hands full, and since was standing at the top, she fell, literally, face first down the stairs. 

I saw her hit her head on the first step, and then bounce her face off the next 4 steps (sliding now on her belly) until I was able to catch her about half way down.  It's funny how fast things happen.  She was up in my arms and Danny was beside me before she barely started crying, but cry she did!  I did the exact thing you're not supposed to do when dealing with a potential head/back injury... I scooped her up in my arms and started bouncing/rocking her.  She cried (okay, screamed) for a few minutes, and we just held her while she did.  Then we asked her if she was okay, she said yes, and we made her wiggle all her fingers and toes, and blink her eyes, and make sure everything was working fine.  We looked her over and couldn't find too much wrong, and then her nose started bleeding.  We dealt with that, and she was still ready to go outside, so away we went.  It wasn't until 20 minutes later that we started to see the bumps and bruises come out.  2 across her forehead, one beneath her eye, a bruise on her nose, and a couple on her elbow.  All-in-all though, she handled it like a champ!  She went outside and blew bubbles, helped her daddy fix the car, picked up rocks, and then came in and had a bath.

You can't see the bruises really well in this picture... she wouldn't stay still long enough to take a picture.  They are much more purple in person, except for her nose, which is bright red and purple all along the nostril. 

Gracie's war wounds from her first real fall!

So this is the end... right?

Well, this is it... 40 weeks!  Today marks the end of my pregnancy.  At least, according to all those books and magazines and websites.  I'm 40 weeks now, 10 months, it's time to be finished!  Except that somebody forgot to mention it to this baby of mine!  Gracie didn't get the memo either.  She was due on the 11th as well (of January, mind you), and didn't make her entrance until the 22nd.  So there is a good possibility that Baby Ford #2 will decide to hibernate until then as well.  At least I know that it absolutely wont be any later than that!

I'm usually pretty laid back about things.  And since I feel so great when I'm pregnant, I really couldn't care when she decides to come.  I'm loving it... except for the looming deadline ahead of us.  We're supposed to be in Newfoundland on the 4th of August.  That's 3 weeks from Saturday.  It takes two days to drive there, and requires two different ferry rides.  So the longer Baby decides to wait, the closer we get to that date.  I'm not worried about the baby making the trip... Baby will sleep.  Baby will be fine.  Momma, however, will probably cry.  A lot.  If history repeats itself, I'm kind of an emotional wreck after having a baby.  I expect that most mothers are, but since no one else has really admitted that to me, I'll say it's just me! :)  And travelling 2 weeks post-partum is not on my list of "fun things to do this summer."  

After Gracie, I had unbelievable issues breastfeeding... not fun to sort out or deal with in a car, I can assure you!  In fact, 3 months after having Gracie, the nurses and lactation consultant were all asking me why I was still sticking with it (that's right, 3 months later, still having issues!).  I told them it was because I was naive enough to believe them when they kept saying to me "in 2 weeks, you wont even remember this, everything will be going so smoothly."  2 weeks turned into 4 weeks, turned into 8 weeks, turned into 12 weeks.  It was insane!  And struggling with breastfeeding, the "most natural thing in the world" makes me one hell of a blubber baby! :)  However, this will not happen this time... I have been assured, and I am naive enough, again, to believe everybody!  

On top of the regular breastfeeding issues, I also developed a wicked thrush infection - which took 8 weeks, 3 different prescriptions, 2 OTC natural remedies, and finally some weird herbs I ordered off the internet to get rid of - and a uterine infection, which landed me in the Emergency Room for 6+ hours hooked up to an antibiotic drip.

So... needless to say, although this pregnancy has been fantastic, I am quite nervous about the after-pregnancy stuff, and more particular, about being away from the comfort of my home.  But the vacation is actually for Danny's dad's wedding, and we need to be there... and I want to be there!  Danny and I have already discussed some alternatives... including him going alone with just Gracie.  But it's not just us who have been waiting so long to meet this little girl, so we're doing everything we can to make sure I can go to too!

Here's hoping that Baby Ford #2 gets the hint and starts the process all on her own in the next couple of days.  Otherwise, she will be receiving a formal notice to evict, and we'll go in and get her out ourselves!  :)  The sooner she comes, the more time I have to adjust and re-balance (hormonally) myself before our big trip to Fogo Island.

Whenever she decides to come though, I know everybody is dying to meet her, and I'm sure I'll be met with more support than I could ever expect.. and maybe a box of tissue, or two! :)

Gettin 'er done...

The last couple of weeks has been a half-hearted attempt at completing my to-do list before baby makes her arrival.  I had a 4-page list of things to get done... I made it through about a page and a half before I gave up!  I really wanted to get the kitchen cleaned from top to bottom, and I was able to accomplish that.  The rest of it can get finished whenever we get around to it!


One thing I really wanted to get done was a little project I saw on Pinterest... the website that makes me think I can be super talented and crafty, but really I just spend hours imaging things I can do, without getting anything done!  Except... this time!  I really wanted to get a menu and cleaning board done.  And today, I accomplished it! :)  Yay, my first-ever Pinterest project!  I feel semi-talented and crafty! :)

Menu Board

Cleaning "Chart"

The board itself I got at Staples... it's a magnetic white board on one side, and a cork board on the other side.  The calendar I already had, so I was able to free up some space on my refrigerator door (I'm sure I'll need the room for all the art projects I've pinned for Gracie to make! haha).  The menu board I made this afternoon, and I'm currently in the middle of writing down our favourite dinner items.  


The cleaning "chart" was kind of an invention to help me remember to do all those crappy things I don't like to do.  Daily cleaning is a given... do the dishes, sweep the floors, put away your crap.  But the weekly, and especially monthly, chores always seem to get put off.  So now, I can have "wash windows" and "clean bathroom" written on my weekly popsicle sticks, and "clean inside of dishwasher" and "vacuum of fans" on my monthly popsicle sticks.  I'll move them over to the "completed" cup once they're finished and... ta-da!!!  My house will always be clean.  Hahahaha!!  That's the plan, anyway!  I think it turned out pretty well, so as long as we can stay on top of things, I'm hoping this will keep us a bit more organized!


Tomorrow Gracie is at the sitter, and I'm hoping to finally finish up the new baby's room.  It's been nearly-finished for two weeks now, but needs a good scrubbing.  Once that's finished, my plan is to sit back and wait.  Patiently.  Because of course at my last doctor's appointment, he laughed and said "I'll see you next week, don't worry. Ha. Ha. Ha."  Apparently this baby is going to be as stubborn as Miss Gracie was, and need some coaxing to get her out.  Because apparently my body is terribly proficient at keeping babies in, and effacement does not happen on its own.  I'll let you look that word up, so I can leave other, more descriptive, words out of this blog! :)  It was the exact problem I had with Gracie, I just assumed Baby #2 would be a little more cooperative.  I should have known, since she stayed breech up until 37 1/2 weeks! :)  Well, if she does decide to come late, at least I have Pinterest to keep me occupied...

So much attitude... such a tiny little word!

Well last week was a major one in terms of speech development for Gracie.  Sure, she learned to pronounce the ends of words she's been saying for months (book instead of bit, Nancy instead Nana, dog instead of dod, etc.) but that isn't the development I'm talking about!  Gracie learned to say "no."  It was quite innocent at first... the dog was barking, and I said "No, Charlie, don't bark."  Gracie followed it up with, "no nooo, no noooo."  I thought it was adorable!  She even shook her head and pointed her finger at the dog and everything!  When dad came home from work, I had to show her off, so I said "Gracie, what do we say to Charlie when she barks?"  And sure enough, "no nooo, no nooo."  We both giggled and ooed and awed.  It was so cute!

Fast forward three days, and Gracie has learned that "no" isn't just for the dog.  It's also for when mom says "come here please" or dad says "time to pick up your toys, Gracie."  Except it's not a cute little "no nooo" anymore!  It's "NOOOOOOOO!!!"  Well, I have to admit... I don't like it one little bit!  Our little obedient child is learning how to express herself, and to make sure we know when she doesn't want to do something! Sure, it's healthy for them to be independent and all that crap... but "no" is my new least favourite word!  I think dad hates it even more.  Heh, heh, heh.  Wait another few months when the terrible twos begin!  I have a feeling we're going to be hearing a lot more of that two-letter word!  We've already had to establish a time-out area, and I have a feeling that, if this girl is anything like me, she'll be spending a bit of time in the time-out spot, thinking about her attitude! :)  

In the meantime, we'll just try to stay focused on all the good new words and sounds she says every day! Because there are many, and it's quite exciting to hear! :)

Blog Blocked...

I don't know if it's the weather, the wind-up at work, or the million other things going on in my life... but for the first time since I started writing, I am blog-blocked!  The last two weeks, I have sat down at least half a dozen times and just stared at this blank screen... with nothing to say!  I know, me without something to say is shocking... but it's true!

There has been so much going on lately, I think my mind is just tired.  When I try to force it to be witty and intelligent, it just laughs at me, blows a little smoke, and turns itself off.  

The last 4 weeks of work, I've had my replacement with me.  I figured I would spend the first two weeks or so training him, and slowly easing off and relaxing the last two weeks.  Work had a different idea.  For some reason, work has a habit of piling itself on when it knows you are going away.  So instead of winding down and taking it easy the last few weeks, I was working full-out, and so was my replacement.  We had two people working my job full-time, and we still barely kept on top of everything.  I was not expecting that.  On Friday, my last day of work, I actually had a project handed to me at 2:00 and was asked if I could get it finished before I left.  I felt like laughing.  Instead, my lovely coworkers and I teamed up, and got it finished.  Wheeew!  Nothing like last-minute projects! :)

On top of work, there have been those lovely renovations we've been tackling.  The painting was finished a few weeks ago, but we haven't gotten around to actually setting up Gracie's new room, cleaning out her old one to make room for the new baby, or, you know, putting away the ginormous pile of crap that came out of the old office (which is now Gracie's room).  I figured I would tackle it when I get home from work in the evenings... but if you see the previous paragraph, you can probably imagine that my evenings involved only the bare essentials.  Eat, clean up, get ready for the next day, sleep. 

But you see, the problem is I'm now nearly 37 weeks along... which means full term... which means this lovely little lady could make an appearance any day now.  I'm hoping she's right on time.  3 weeks should give me time to finish up the laundry list of stuff I want to get done.  Today, for example, I was able to move Gracie's room downstairs.  I was hoping to unpack the little baby clothes and set up the nursery again, but I have a feeling that will be tomorrow's project.   Danny's also hasseling me to get my bag packed for the hospital... yeah, yeah, that should  probably be toward's the top of the list!  I also have 4 notebook pages of "spring cleaning" type stuff I absolutely must get down before I can bring home a new baby.  Obviously, if it doesn't get done, we'll all survive, and I'll forget about it in the post-baby exhaustion... but still, I MUST get it done.  It's my goal!

So with all of this stuff going on around me, I guess I can forgive my brain for being a little uncooperative in the creativity department.  I'm hoping now that I'm home during the days, I can re-energize my mind, and body, and get some stuff accomplished.  Including getting back on track with entertaining diatribes about my crazy family.  Because even though my brain has shut down, the craziness around here continues... and it's quite a shame that you are all missing out!  :)

Forever, For Always...

Sometimes life becomes so hectic and crazy, you forget for a while how you got exactly where you are today.  Often times we become so wrapped up in the day-to-day stuff (work, what's for dinner, what needs to be cleaned, who's picking up the milk on the way home) that we tend to take things for granted.  I didn't just wake up one day in the middle of this wonderful life that I live... I worked hard to get here, together with a man who means more than anything to me.  It was with all of that hard work, commitment, and sheer good luck, that we have the lives that we do. 

When I met Danny, I was the ripe old age of 19 and he was 21 (yes, he was totally a cradle-robber!).  Although we met at a bar, drinking wasn't really my thing, and I was just getting out of an on-again, off-again not-entirely-healthy relationship.  We hit it off pretty much from the beginning, with him declaring "I've always wanted a friend named Sammy, can I call you that?"  I agreed to the nickname, but didn't really think it would stick.  To this day, Danny has called me Samantha once... at our wedding, when he repeated what the priest told him to say.  Even when he's angry with me, he doesn't do that thing that mother's do... where they use your full name.  It's still always been Sammy.  I've had a few other nicknames too, like Princess (a personal favourite, obviously), although that was back "in the beginning" when mushy-gushy names like that were acceptable.

7 years ago... young and foolish! :)

Soon after I met Danny, I moved to Moncton to go to school.  Although it was hard to be apart from someone whom I was becoming quite fond of, he never once asked me to stay or pressure me to not go.  We just made it work.  There were many fights over the phone, and times when I'm sure we both thought we were never going to make it through the year, but somehow we managed.  After I moved back from Moncton, we spent 3 months in the PMQ, and then moved into this house.  Living with someone was quite different for me, and we found that we were very different in our cleaning, cooking, and relaxing styles.  The first year wasn't too bad, but the second year in the house was hellish... we fought about everything from how often the laundry should be done, to what the tone of a certain voice actually meant (despite what the person who owned the voice meant it to mean!).  It was a rough year... but somehow we worked through all of the issues, and came out even stronger on the other side.

We also had to deal with Danny's mom getting sick.  We were together for about 3 years when she was diagnosed with lung cancer.  It was another rough year, of not understanding exactly how Danny was feeling, of not knowing what I should or could be doing to help, to not really knowing what exactly was going to happen.  Unfortunately, Danny's mom did pass away... but we made it through that stress too.

We got engaged that summer, and spent the next year planning our wedding.  It was stressful at times too.  Arguing about the guest list, and where to put people, and different family customs.  And yet, we made it to the wedding day and I became *cough* Mrs. Danny Ford.  The first year of married life wasn't that different, of course, than the previous few years, although we still had some wrinkles and issues to settle.  We got pregnant with Gracie in April, nearly 9 months post-wedding.  We spent the next 42 weeks discussing all sorts of things... money, discipline, religion, schooling... you name it, we talked about it.  And it was sometime around then that I realized it had happened... during the previous 5 years, we had dealt with almost every single issue that was important to us, and had reached a consensus on how we wanted our lives, and the lives of our children, to look.  We were comfortable with the decisions we had made in the past, and for the future.  We knew how we wanted to handle the situations thrown at us over the next 18+ years.  We had made it this far... and we were totally, and completely ready for the future.  We were 100% secure in our relationship and we were ready to tackle whatever life threw at us... and most importantly, we were in it together.  

Obviously, we still fight... usually about the laundry or my hormones.  And we will continue to fight for the rest of our lives together.  The difference is... we know that none of those issues that we fight about are going to be deal breakers.  Nothing is more important than making things work for us, and we're committed to that idea.

I think the number one thing in our relationship that keeps us as strong as we are is respect.  If you don't completely respect the person you're with, or if you're not completely respected, it's going to be awfully hard to get through the tough times.  I recently taught Danny a saying that has sort of become our motto, and it's a perfect example of respect...

Saying you're sorry does not necessarily mean that you're wrong,

It means that you value your relationship more than your ego.

So on a day when I flip through Facebook and see our good friends celebrating their 10-year anniversary, and on a day when I have serious discussions with people I love about what it means to be happy in a relationship, and on a day when my husband brings me home Hickory Sticks after he's worked a 12-hour shift, just because I've been craving them for three days straight, I want to make it clear that no matter how hard things get in the future, and no matter how easy it might seem sometimes to just walk away instead of making things work, I have no doubt that 30 years from now he'll still be complaining about my hormones, and I'll still be wishing he didn't fart in his sleep.  

As the sign above our living room window says... Forever, For Always, but Never For Granted